the boy with two personalities ((ereri))

Shattered

Third pov

After the crazy brunette left the raven alone, he didn't care what she said..... anything at all. He knows what he did was wrong and because of that..... he lost everything that mattered to him, he knows that there is no going back, there is no time to corect what he did wrong, and made things right when they are wrong. He can't change what he did....there is nothing he can do to make this pain go away. Eren loved him so bad and levi loves eren too much. That all went to the trash when eren entered his office.

Levi pov

Dark and empty that is how my heart feels right now....why?......why..why didn't i tell him? why didn't i ran to him? why don't i go and explain and tell him the truth!? My heart breaks a little when i think about him....right know i'm to the edge...of this misery...of this pain. I was wrong to ever believe that i could live a long life with him, to spend all of my time with him until the end. But i was wrong...he would never love me....my father was right....i'm useless...worthless...that's why he left me with my mother, we suffered so much....i suffered so much....make this end can not affect me but the people around me.Shitty glasses is wrong....i do this so i can see my blood, to make the pain go away.

I let a sigh and stood up, i walked to my bathroom and turned on the lights, i grabbed a razor blade from my pant pocket and brought it to my wrist. I let a single tear slip out from my eye before starting to slice away the pain.

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I stopped, i fell to my knees and started to cry, i lower my head and let my tears go, i cried so much that my tears are turning a red color, so i looked like i was crying blood. I grabbed the razor blade and sliced my neck a little, i then lifted and sliced the ends of my lips making a smile. I looked at the blood coming from my mouth, neck and arms, I stood up and washed it all with water, i then wrap bandages around my cuts in my arms, the arms i used to cuddle, hug or carry eren,i then wrap some around my neck, the neck i let eren mark me as his, and finally i wrap a bandage around my mouth, the mouth i use to kiss him, to talk to him, to tell him my love, the mouth that caused me so many problems in my life, one of them is losing eren, all that is left to cut is my eyes, the eyes i use to see how beautiful eren is. 

I should've kiss him, hug him....love him when i ignored him. He probably is living so much better with someone else, i hope that guy is kissing him with all of him love, hugging him like a teddy bear, loving him with all of his heart, mind and soul and not using him.

Wait! w-what about the living beings inside him!? the baby or babies inside him!? a-are they ok!? are they even alive!? i hoped eren didn't abort them....i'll find a way to help him.....to be able to see them just once....to carry one.

God i've been so sad about eren that i forgot that he was pregnant....is he still? h-how many months old is he? Is he even taking care of them?

So many questions popped into my head and i got more and more worried....i know eren and i know he would never do such a thing.....would he? no....he could never!

☪☪☪☪☪☪☪☪_time skip_☪☪☪☪☪☪☪☪

I looked up at the ceiling with dull eyes, my whole house was a mess, maybe i'm overreacting, it's just a break up...right? but why does it hurt so much? a lot of people have break ups and get over them in weeks, it's been what? 3 or 4 months since it happened....so why can't i get over him? did i loved him so much? more than i realized? more than what regular people feel? more than i expected? no....i always expected this love, i love him to death, and now i know my love is going to be the death of me, i'll die because i lost this love, a love so valid....a love so precious to me and my heart.....a love i tried to get so many times and i finally got it but lost it....forever
Is this the pain that is going through eren? i hope not....i'll text eren's friend to count the tears eren shreds in a day....every tear he shreds is a cut.....now i'm going to know how eren feels....but why hasn't he text me....i know both of them hate me....but...a text to know that eren of the lives are alive, that they are healthy, that they are happy.

I don't want to be alone....all again...this brings bad memories...memories i want to forget....but they hunt me....they will never go away no matter how much i try....there's no way out of this nightmare....only if we end this called life our ours...maybe we can finally live in peace, we can finally relax with no worry in the world. 

I want that for so long.....but i'm too afraid to even succede on it....i tried to do it....but it's too painful...to see a person cry for what i tried to do....they never deserve shed a tear for what i want, for what i do.....they should just relax and forget about me....i destroy everything don't i? since little i've hidden my feeling cuz i know if i show them people will just destroy them again, this is life.....such beautiful but cruel thing we have....we never deserve such pain....why did we have to exist with these feelings, these emotions....why couldn't we just live without them, we could live on feeling nothing, making this more easier to those people that have been heart broken or played.

Am i only saying this because this is how i feel? because i'm me? a lonely bastard that is just another burdon and life threatening to this earth.....or is it......because i'm so fucking shattered?