What Are You Doing Here? > Stenbrough

019

Stan's POV
Monday

I wore natural colors and tried to blend in today. I didnt feel like talking or looking at anyone. Surely they all knew Bill was missing there were posters everywhere as well as a article in the newspaper, plus since Derry is such a small town things spread quickly.

I rushed to my locker and grabbed my stuff before heading to my first class, I ignored any of my friends that tried to talk to me or anything. I couldn't pay attention in class and everything in my mind was fuzzy.

Bill was the only clear thing, also the fact that he was missing because of me. I couldn't stop blaming myself and I was hurting. Everything hurt.

Getting through the day was hard hit it happened. When I got home I collapsed into bed after putting one of Bill's sweaters on.

Mrs. Denbrough brought me some food at some point and I ate it, my tears falling into the food but I didnt care. I sat in the edge of the bed staring off into space for qhonknows how long before laying down and falling asleep.

I dreamt of Bill, what could be happening to him? Well more like I had nightmares. The first one was of him getting killed, the second tortured, the third all I saw was his mangled up body.

I sat up quickly after the third and looked at the clock 5:58 am, I decided to just stay awake, I showered and got dressed, the images still in my mind, and I left for school early after leaving a note.

I didnt talk to anyone or pay attention in class. I got home and the same thing as yesterday happened except I didnt eat. I didnt deserve food. I let Bill and his whole family down.

And week after week was the same thing. I grew skinny, weak, and pale. My friends and teachers noticed and they told me how worried they were but I shut them out. I ignored them. I didnt care what they had to say unless it was about Bill.

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Word count: 353
Published on: October 1st 2018

I realised how little appreciation I've shown on this story and I'm sorry for that. So, to everyone reading this, you're the reason I haven't stopped. I remember first publishing this and being worried about what people would think and I was scared of getting hate because I usually dont share my writing with people. I love to write. I sometimes feel confident with my writing style but other times I hate it, but you all make me feel comfortable here and like I can write my heart out. Thank you for all the support ilysm and it means the world to me ❤❤