Opposites attract

Birthday shopping

WARNING!! This chapter isn't that good haha, but it's pretty important to what's coming. That's all I'm gonna say ;) OH also, sorry it's so late!! I'm in the middle of exams rn but please be patient with me, my last paper is in 8 days then I'll be uploading wayyy more often❤️

I spent all of Sunday online looking for something I could get express delivered for Lucas' birthday. I still hadn't forgiven myself and I knew it had to be good. After I got home on Sunday night he had texted me to tell me not to feel bad, but I couldn't help it. I had spent the entire day with him and I didn't once acknowledged that it was his birthday.

I had contemplated everything, from colognes to weed. Yeah, I looked up dealers in the area. That had mostly been a joke to myself, I would probably never actually have done it. I was just tired and frustrated at myself, so I decided to lighten my own mood...or maybe I considered it. What matters is that I didn't do it, so let's just leave it at that.

It was 3am and I still hadn't found anything. The chances of me getting anything shipped before school on Monday were basically dead. I would've gotten something earlier but it felt like nothing was good enough. Shopping for straight boys is impossible, especially ones like Lucas. He didn't really have any real hobbies, he just listened to music and laughed at everything I did.

"Come on Blakely" I told myself staring at the google homepage. And then, for some reason it hit me. Lucas liked Kodaline, just like me. No one else I knew liked or listened to them but he had mumbled along to their songs every time I had it playing in my car.

I couldn't get him tickets or anything cool like that, they were only going on tour in the UK and Ireland. However...
I crawled off my bed and pulled on a pair of pants over my cotton shorts then I grabbed my car keys and ran out of my room.

I prayed that my dad wouldn't wake up and hear me, I didn't mind explaining where I was going, I just didn't feel like doing it.
I didn't care that I was barefoot when my feet made contact with the cold concrete, it was like I was on a high, I knew what I wanted from my old house, and I was on a mission to get it.

It felt weird going into my old driveway. The last time I had been here was with Lucas when I was living with him. This time I was alone and I would have to go into the house myself.
I sat behind the wheel for about 10 minutes staring at the pretentious, double story white house with black accents on the window frames and door.

After it had been long enough, I forced myself to pull my keys out of the ignition then shove my door open. It felt both familiar and unusual going back to this house, if I were blindfolded I still would've gotten around just fine, but for some reason it was still alien to me.
I unlocked the front door without thinking about it so I wouldn't change my mind, before trekking through the pitch black house.

I could've turned the lights on but I knew if I did, I would see everything and I didn't need old memories flooding back, not right now.
Everything still felt the same, the railing of the staircase, the soft carpet beneath my feet. It even smelt the same.

When I got to my room I forced myself to turn the light on, I wouldn't be able to find what I was looking for if I didn't. I almost had a heart attack when I realized my closet was wide open and my draws had clearly been rummaged through, but then I remembered Lucas had been in here when he was getting my clothes.

The room still smelt the exact same, the bed was perfectly centered in the room with two white bedside tables on either side, there was a large bulletin board on the wall next to my window with the years events pinned in order of when they were happening, I remembered I used to think I could never survive without that bulletin board, but it had been a month since I'd moved out and I was fine. I mean, ok I was failing history, but apart from that, I was perfectly fine.

Everything in this room was so organized and put together, anyone who came here would never guess how broken this home was. In the same way, anyone who looked at how put together I always appeared would never guess how broken I really was. There was so much wrong with me and this home that how perfect both appeared almost seemed wrong in itself.

I crouched down and reached under the bed for what I was looking for, it took a few minutes before my fingers finally brushed against the cold, smooth box. I had to get down flat onto my tummy to reach it with both my hands.
It was heavier than I remembered, but it was definitely worth it when I got the black record player out from under my bed.

I let out a huge breath before brushing the dust off with my sleeve. It had been a good 2 years since I saw this thing. After my Nona on my fathers side passed away, my dad gave her record player to me, apparently she had left it specifically for me on her will.

I don't know why I stopped listening to it. There was something weirdly satisfying about listening to music the way those before you did, rather than pressing play on Spotify. I had to go out of my way to set the record up. It was effort but that's what made it so much richer. The antiquity of the player made the music feel more raw and real. It was the way music was originally intended to be heard.

I loved it so much, but I knew Lucas would appreciate it more than I did. I don't know why I was so certain of that fact, he'd never spoken about a record player and I'd never seen a record in his house. I guess he just seemed like the type. He listened to Kodaline and Declan McKenna, artists like those were what I always listened to on Vinyl.

I picked the record player up and dropped it on my bed then I opened the bottom draw on my tallboy and pulled out one of my few records. It was the 1975. They were my very favorite, especially this specific record.

Once I was done in my room lugged the large record player with the vinyl record sat on top of it out of my room and down the stairs. I couldn't close and lock the door while holding the record player so I took it to my car first before going back to the house and locking up.
To my surprise, I didn't look back after locking the door, I just went to my car then drove back to my new home.