Twisted Life

The Sickness

There is a sickness
Of the mind,
And upon me
It does creep.

In the dark
It grows and festers
And in my mind
It reproduces.

My colors are gone,
Long faded away.
In the sickness
They did die
As did my heart.

Through depression
I lost myself
And I do not know
If I can find her again.

That girl is gone,
The quiet one,
The soft one,
The loving one.

Now there is a rock,
So many walls,
None can break,
I hide inside.

My walls within
Are growing taller
Ever thicker
Ever harder.

With each pain,
With each new burn,
With each new scar,
My mind grows dark.

My music has died,
The notes have ceased,
The paint has dried,
Now I'm a beast.

A terrible monster,
Full of hate,
Any help now,
Is simply late.

I am gone,
Far, far gone,
Beyond the physical world.

In the hands
Of Death my friend
Now I do sit,
Alone and lonely.

For I have been
Abandoned again
But this time the culprit
Was my sanity.

I have snapped
Beyond repair
And none believe
That I am not me.

This woman you see
The heartless wench
Is not who I
Truly wish to be.

There is a sickness
Growing inside
Spreading evil
It has not died.

My light is gone
My hope, my love
For all I held close
Is too far above.

I'm spiraling down
A forever path
No end in sight
For me now.

A slice of skin
An arm or leg
Neck or chest
Will start the flood
From my head.

A crimson stream
Will dry to brown
Before my death
Ever is found.

If I simply
Cease to exist
How long until anyone
Would notice it?

This sickness creeps
Silently, slowly
Hiding in darkness
Toying with my mind.

To fall into cold
To feel no more
To freeze my heart
To harden my core

At once my heart
Feels like glass
Shattered to bits
And broken shards
Embed themselves
Now in my brain.
The sickness itself
Is quite a pain.

I have lost myself
My art, my words,
My music, my love,
Is all in the past.

I am not the girl
Some thought they loved
I am a beast
Horrible inside.

If this darkness,
Any other would touch,
It would be poison,
And kill them as such.

My illness is vile
And I stand to protect
All that I love
In every aspect.

For if another
Falls to the claim
I do not know
If I can fight

So stay away,
I'll be alright,
But no longer do I
Have any light.

Cora Theresa