5. The Contract.

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That stupid date kept replaying in my head over and over, why did I agree to be open minded? Maybe I was just curious and really wanted to find out about this mysterious person but was I really attracted to a male? His voice didn't sound macho masculine but it is a few octaves lower than mines. He said he went through some changes, what kind of changes could that be? Could both of our parents force us to be something that we're not? Because if so then this could be our gateway out of this marriage. Maybe we could get married then go our separate ways, we would meet up for business proposals but live separate lives in the same house, that could definitely work. I wasn't attracted to men, if anything I actually disliked them but Kwashie was an exception. I liked him as a person, I didn't feel any sexual attraction towards him.. we could be like brothers and sisters or best friends! I need to tell him that I'm gay. I took out my phone to call him when I realized that I didn't have his number, maybe my mother did.

"Mother," I said walking into the kitchen.

"Yes Zidania?" She said looking up from her coffee and paperwork.

"Do you by any chance have Kwashie Ekuban's number," I asked.

"No," she said turning her attention back to the papers.

I sighed and walked away when I heard her say, "Richard has it."

I ran back up to my room to call Richard, he had three phones and the one I was about to call he would surely answer.

"What's the emergency???" He picked up on the first ring.

"Send me Kwashie's number."

"That's not an emergency," he hissed his teeth.

"It is. You said I should get to know this person soooo send me his number." I said.

"I'll text it." He sighed.

"Thanks dad, you're the best." I shouted.

"Someone's excited about that."

"Isn't this your emergency only phone? Why're you still talking to me?"

"I.." he started but hissed his teeth and disconnected the call.

In a minute my phone beeped suggesting that I have a new message and there it was, Kwashie's number waiting on me to use it. I saved it and then hit the call button.

"Ekuban speaking," he picked up on the fourth ring.

"Uhhhh..." No words could come to my mouth.

"Who is this?" He asked.

"Uhmm.. I just called to say here is my number." I stumbled over his words.

"Is this Zidania?" His African accent was thick.

"Uh yeah.." I dragged out.

"I shall save it, my love." He said.

"How are you?" I asked.

"I am doing well Zidania and how are you?"

"Can you call me Zim please and I'm fine."

"Sure, Zim." I could see him smiling on the other end. I could hear it in his voice.

"Thanks, I gotta go."

"Okay. I will call you later when I am through with my business."

"Bye."

"Ciao," He said and disconnected the call.

I held my phone in my hand staring at it, I think something is definitely wrong with me. I should've said that I was gay but what would his reaction be? Mother did say that I wasn't to embarrass the family but I don't want to be in an unhappy marriage. I wanted to marry for love and that love was supposed to be with Carter Jones, I wanted to be selfish and keep her but I didn't want her to not fully have me. I'd be married and she would just be there on the sidelines, not really getting the recognition that she deserves. I'm now realizing that I don't deserve her, maybe it's better off this way. Since I was 15 she's been there with me to help me out of my depression and to feed me ice cream whenever my mother would get too rough. She cleaned up my cuts and kissed my scars. I was sad. I turned on my television and it was already on Cartoon Network, I never really changed the channel anyways but all that was showing were re-runs and I got bored instantly so I took up my controller and turned my X-BOX on deciding to play some Ghost Recon and maybe Halo later on.

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