30. Pity Party.

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I was in my small home theater completely shrouded in darkness. Well, it wasn't exactly dark since the projector was on and I was rewatching Jane Eyre with a bottle of Jack Daniels pressed to my lips. I knew I said that I'd stop drinking but the disgust I felt towards my old friend was only temporary and blinded by the fear of losing Kwashie.

The novel to this movie was spectacular and just like I had cried while flipping through the last pages, I cried while the movie ended. It wasn't the end as yet though, I had just put the movie on and I had just popped the cap from the fresh bottle of Jack Daniels feeling the cool glass in my palms. I was on sick leave and I was supposed to be taking medication but I ditched those for weed and I ditched water for whiskey. Kwashie went to school and I'd be here missing out my whole first week. Maybe I should just transfer.. that sounds like a great idea to me.

I was in a Journalism group chat and everyone kept sending me care and pity statements. I didn't need it because I was quite capable of throwing my own pity party just as I was doing now. I watched the movie intently, I knew the plot but I still acted as if this was my first time. I loved this movie and I couldn't exactly tell why.

"Zidania?" Sharon called from the door.

"Wassup Shar?" I asked not bothering to hide the bottle.

"Aren't you on medication?" She asked.

"I should be but I'm not going to take pills for something they can't even diagnose." I defended.

"I get you. I brought your wooden box." She handed me the box.

"I can't smoke in here, you know Richard set up smoke detectors."

"I also brought you ice cream." She laughed.

"Thanks, Shar."

"I hope you're not feeling sorry for yourself."

"Too late." I smiled at her.

"Come on, the great egotistical Zidania is afraid to show her face at school because she might've bled all over her shirt and stood up looking like the walking dead speaking a language no one understood?"

"Now that you put it into words, it sounds MUCH worst." I hissed my teeth.

"Okay. It kinda did." She laughed.

"You'll get over it." She said.

"Not if that witch is in my class. She'll continue to torment me and I'll continue to have episodes and if I have episodes every week and get a sick leave that lasts for a week then I might as well just drop out of school right now." I lifted a finger every time I made a point.

"She's trying to kill me. I feel it."

"She's not trying to kill you, don't you think you're overreacting?"

"I'm not Shar!! I should've never said I was engaged but I wasn't flaunting or anything." I sighed.

"This is just like any Disney movie." Sharon loves Disney movies.

"How?"

"You and Kwashie are the royalty, right? Kacely is the bad witch that lives in a dark gloomy castle far away."

"And?"

"She was in love with your spouse from a younger age but they could never be together because of who they were and the responsibilities they both had. So she had to love him from a distance even though she knew he didn't feel the same way. You come along and she's trying everything in her powers to keep you guys apart because she would prefer him lonely just like her." I felt like a five year old getting told a bedtime story.

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