Seventeen

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Seventeen.

"You mentioned you'd had girlfriends before" I spoke quietly, not wanting to ruin the calm and tranquil mood that had settled around us as we lay under the sheet in his bed, curled up together in what resembled a protective ball "Was it serious?"

"The girl I lost my virginity to wasn't" He sighed "Her name was Katie and we sat next to each other in art class. We became good friends and things sort of escalated between us. She was looking for someone that she could let out her hormones on, and I wasn't exactly objecting to the whole thing. I started to fall for her right after we first slept together, but then she found herself a proper boyfriend. I think she just fucked me because she didn't want to still be a virgin when she turned seventeen. Shallow reason, I know."

"You deserved a better first time than that" I frowned, hating the idea of someone just using him for sex and then chucking him away like leftovers. "Did you have sex with anyone else?" I hoped that someone else had managed to show him that he was someone to be appreciated and desired, not just a piece on the side.

"Yeah, I had a serious girlfriend for two years called Skye. We got very close very quickly, and in the end it was just too much for us both when we were so young and about to go in different directions. She was off to Dallas to study Drama and pursue a career starring in musicals and if she was lucky, TV. Whilst I was off to train for this career. It never would have worked out, and although it was hard to break up, it was the right thing to do. I think, looking back, she felt like more of a best friend to me than anything else."

"Did you love her?"

"I'm not sure. I think I might have. Definitely as a friend, but I think possibly as more too. It's hard to distinguish the two of them sometimes. But I was definitely attracted to her." He traced patterns into my bare back as he spoke, smiling every time I shivered.

"So you're bisexual" I nodded "At least you get the best of both worlds, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so" he chuckled "I didn't even realise until I met you. And from that moment I knew that I couldn't be a hundred percent straight, because every time I saw you my stomach felt funny and there were all these inappropriate thoughts clouding my head..."

"Tell me about it. It wasn't exactly on my to do list to get involved with a priest" I sighed into the crook of his neck "But here we are. Man, would I like to see the look on James face if he could see us right now."

"Don't even joke about him finding out" He shuddered "I hate to think what would happen."

"I think the phrase you're looking for is a complete and utter shitstorm" I giggled, despite how serious the threat was "Good job we're not going to get caught together, huh?"

"Yeah" I heard the nerves in his voice "I hope so."

"Hey" I leaned up so I was looking him the eye "I'm not going to tell anyone. None of my friends will know, okay? Not a single person. As long as nobody else knows, no matter how much we trust them, then it'll never get out. You can keep your questionably-suited job and I can keep the tiny shred of freedom I still hold on to."

"You can't let James and Isabel get suspicious. Keep pretending you hate coming to church, keep going home with a scowl and a sour attitude. And when we're around them at church just treat me normally."

"Don't worry, they think I have a girlfriend anyway" I shrugged, making him furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

"But I thought you told them you were-"

"I did, they just believe what they want to see. And all they see at the moment is that I stood up for my friend Lynz, who happens to be female, and they've made their own assumptions as to why I helped her. Granted, I let them, but they were the ones that pieced together the story."

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