The Language Of Motivation (Completed)

Chapter 13: Dealing with anger

Do you lose your temper and wonder why? Are there days when you feel like you just wake up angry? Some of it may be the changes your body's going through: All those hormones you hear so much about can cause mood swings and confused emotions. Some of it may be stress: People who are under a lot of pressure tend to get angry more easily. Part of it may be your personality: You may be someone who feels your emotions intensely or tends to act impulsively or lose control. And part of it may be your role models: Maybe you've seen other people in your family blow a fuse when they're mad. No matter what pushes your buttons, one thing is certain — you're sure to get angry sometimes. Everyone does. Anger is a normal emotion, and there's nothing wrong with feeling mad. What counts is how we handle it (and ourselves) when we're angry. Believe it or not, there's a difference between feeling mad about something, and being angry at it. Many people believe that when they are angry, they have the power to do anything. It makes them feel powerful. Control isn't exactly the issue here. It's more that we feel small and insecure and have stumbled upon anger as an effective means to feel bigger than those around us. Recognizing this is what's going to empower us again to interrupt the generation of anger and instead to deal with the feelings of insecurity. Anger that arises from insecurity is particularly efficient at destroying intimate relationships. Anger can put you in places you don't want to be. I was speaking to a young man on my way home in a public transportation. He seemed very nice when you first start talking to him. I mean not that he was a threat to me or anything; what hit me was when he told me that he abuses his girlfriend a lot. I instantly stood bewildered because I wasn't expecting that at all. He said that it's not his intention to be abusive towards his girlfriend, but from a tender age he knew he always had an anger problem. He said that he really loves his girlfriend a lot and he really wish he could stop because he's afraid to lose her. I told him that the best way to deal with your anger is to seek anger management and see how best it can help you. The moral of this is that, anger can put us into situations that rob us of our dignity and integrity. It puts a very low value on our lives and deprive us of little good we have inside of us. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 7:9, Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger dwells in the heart of fools. Sometimes not indulging an argument can prevent us from becoming angry. We allow ourselves to be too easily provoked just by prolonging something that could have been resolved already. If we learn to develop a relationship with God, and read his word, we would learn to love regardless of the situation. The Bible says in Proverbs 15:1, A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stirs up anger. Let us learn and develop the ability to free ourselves from the curse of being too angry. Instead of arguing about the situation that could cause a major problem, rather let us find ways on how to resolve it; it takes two person to start a conflict. Don't be stuck to the level of getting angry easily. Learn to control yourself, and let the peace and love that God bestowed upon us shine in the midst of our lives.