Who Else Could? (Part 1)

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This one shot will have two parts in which I intend to focus on each of these idiots' thoughts during the show, where Arthur married Gwen despite not wanting to and where Merlin suffered because of it.

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Foolish he was to hope, to believe things could ever turn out the way his heart yearned, to believe he could ever be more, mean more, be cared for in a different way, a more meaningful one. Every night he'd spend hours convincing himself nothing could ever come of his silly, childish feelings, but he'd still end up falling asleep with a smile on his lips and the sweet taste of his unleashed imagination that took him by hand down roads he so hoped to walk, yet knew would never. Still, hope lingered into his heart, clinging to him for dear life. Maybe he was the one clinging to it, finding solace in the depths of his mind just to avoid falling into the darkness of his own fate. In the end, it didn't matter.

All that mattered was that Gwen had accepted to marry Arthur and Arthur was happy, the so oblivious Merlin thought. Merlin wasn't, but, again, that didn't matter. It never did and it hurt him to realize that just now. To just realize that he really, really didn't matter. The heavy, painful truth had slapped him across the face, waking him up from his own induced slumber, only leaving behind the stinging pain and feeling of frustration. Pure frustration. Merlin should have known better. He no longer was the boy who first walked through the gates of Camelot with a big smile and high hopes for his future. No. He was a man who had suffered alone through the despair of losing loved ones, fighting his battles all on his own and giving it everything he had, from power to happiness, for that destiny he still could not completely understand.

The worst part? He had come to learn over the years that all the things he did, all the people he had lost, all the wounds he had hidden while limping around Arthur's chambers, every piece he had ripped out of his heart to patch that of his king's, everything, was not for the fate that Kilgarrah kept insisting on, but for a much simpler reason. Love. Merlin loved Arthur like no one ever loved another.

Arthur would die for Merlin without a second thought, yet Merlin had died for Arthur so many times before. Arthur was tender and he cared for people, yet Merlin had thrown away his soul in his care for Arthur's. Arthur had an unbreakable spirit, but only because it was cemented with Merlin's own.

And truly, who could ever love like Merlin?

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