5. Apologies

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Aiming to eliminate any possible rumors that something might have gone array between Mike and me, I return to the party. I've still got a half an hour before I should be getting back home, so I take a seat next to Gavin, where he sits nursing a headache, and sip on my Diet Pepsi.

"Where've you been?" he asks, turning his hanging head in my direction, a lazy grin on his tired face.

"My ex showed up," I tell him honestly. Since the rest of the guys already know, I figure Gavin might as well too.

"Uh..." He holds the word out for an exaggerated length of time before scrunching his brows up in confusion. "Aren't we literally at your ex's house?"

I laugh, enjoying the hungover version of Gavin. There's just something about the look on his face that has me squishing myself up against him and snuggling into his side. He chuckles, looping his arm around my shoulders.

"Different ex," I mumble, scanning the crowd for Jessie's familiar black hair. I spot him in the pool, guzzling beer and laughing like he hasn't a care in the world. And in that moment, I hate him.

My chest burns. The desire to confront him for what he's put me through sizzles through my nervous system, jumbling my sensibility. The only thing keeping me from marching right up to him and spitting in his face is Gavin's arm around me. Though, if I'm being entirely honest, even if Jessie confronted me first, I'd probably bury my bitterness and muddle my way through being as polite as possible. I've never been good at confrontation or putting the spotlight on myself, even when I have every right to do so.

"You're so warm," I say, squeezing myself further against Gavin. "Can I get a blanket made out of you?"

He chokes, laughter squeezing out between coughs. "Well," he says, clearing his throat, humor woven into his words. "I mean, you'd have to skin me in order to do that, so I'm just going to say, no, I do not give permission for that, no matter how cold you are. Though, I'll take cuddles any time you need them."

"You're the best," I chuckle, tipping my Pepsi against my lips and taking a bubbly chug.

"Also," he adds. "I do make a mean cup of tea. That might help warm you up. How 'bout it? I think my head could use a cup too."

I think about it for a moment, checking the time before finally giving in.

"That'd be awesome. Thank you, Gav."

"No problemo, my dear lady."

Then he's sauntering off toward the house.

I sit in silence, my knees now pulled to my chest as I work heat into my skin with the palm of my left hand. With the other, I continue to sip on my drink, eyes observing the various people milling around the yard. As horrendous as this evening has gone, I can't help but be grateful that I came. These guys are my best friends. Back in college, Emma was pretty much my only best girl friend. Now that she's married with a baby on the way, and living three hours from here, it's been harder to keep in touch. Though, we do try.

The truth is, when things got bad, I sort of internalized everything. I internalized my pain and my life. I keep to my home and work, not leaving much time for play. Pretty sure that's why my dad was so eager to get me out of the house tonight. My parents want to see me happy, and getting out and seeing my old friends might just be a step in that direction.

"Hey, sis," I hear Chuck say as he walks up the three steps to the porch with his wife, Felicia, beside him. "It's getting late, so we're gonna take off."

"Okay," I say, standing to wrap them each in a hug. I glance down at Felicia, who's about four inches shorter than me, and smile. "Sorry I wasn't very social tonight. I'll definitely try and make my way to Peoria sometime before the baby comes so we can hang out properly."

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