Origami Heart (Book 3 - DP series - COMPLETE)

25. Rage

I've never felt so blindsided. All this time, I'd been investigating the wrong people when the one responsible for all my confusion was literally working right beside me all along. Abby? How on earth did I miss that? I would have thought there'd be clues, maybe small gestures or looks that might suggest her feelings toward me. I'm completely out of my realm of comfort with all this. I've never been on the receiving end of a female's affection. Not in a romantic way anyway. What am I supposed to do?

Pulling out of the clinic parking lot, I head for home, mind spinning. I feel like a yo-yo being yanked in every which way. Much more of this and I'll break. First Jessie, then Mike, then Andy, and now Abby. My chest feels on the verge of eruption and the fuller it gets the more fragile I feel. The last few years have been one rejection followed by another and in between all that, I've experienced a series of jumbled emotions. Affection and rejection are a dangerous combination.

I'm a bundle of nerves by the time I get home. Two minutes after picking up Haley, she decided she'd had enough and started throwing a temper tantrum that could rattle the patience of a dead man. It took everything within me not to start screaming or bawling my eyes out. My mom must have heard Haley wailing from the end of the street because she was waiting on the doorstep when I pulled up to the house. She doesn't attempt to hobble down the steps with her bum leg, but the moment I exit the vehicle and grab Haley from her car seat, my mom already has her arms stretched out toward us, ready to take the puffy-eyed child from my arms.

"Thanks, mom," I say, letting out a weary sigh.

"Dinner's on the table," my mom says, following in after me through the front door.

I drop my purse on the floor beside the pile of shoes just left to the entrance before glancing into the dining room. Based on the clean dishes placed around the table, it looks like they waited for me. Unfortunately, I'm just not really in the mood for small talk.

"I might eat later, if that's okay," I say, eyes pleading for her to understand. "It's been a rough day."

"Oh." Her eyes widen with this news and she glances at Haley's puckered face just as the child lets out another stream of whimpers. "Well, I'm not all that hungry. I could let your dad feed Haley and you and I could—"

"No, no," I smile. "Thanks, mom, but I really just need a little bit of quiet, if that's okay."

She nods once, pulling her lips between her teeth and then offering a gentle grin. "Sure. I'll make a plate for you and leave it in the microwave. Just heat it up when you're ready."

"Perfect."

She pats my shoulder a couple of times and then hollers for my dad to come join her for dinner. The moment her back is to me, I hurry through the living room and out the back door. Settling into one of the patio chairs, I turn my face toward the sky. It's not a particularly nice night. The air's a bit too stale, the breeze a little too absent and the sky a little too dark.

Dropping my head back against the chair, I let the rim of it dig into my neck. It's pleasant in the most uncomfortable sort of way. Rolling my head back and forth, I succumb to the relaxation that my body has been begging for since finding out the truth.

I find my thoughts snagging on Mike and how he's been behind all of this. I can't figure it out. Does he not know me at all? It stings to realize that the man I once adored is gone. It's a loneliness I wasn't prepared for. I was over Mike until he came back and now I'm just lost. Lost in my own desires. Part of me hates him for neglecting me. Part of me is furious at the military for allowing him into a war zone that was so detrimental to his personality. And then another part of me is disgusted at myself for not just letting him go.