accident // p.d

Chapter 13

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"Why do you always expect me to be the person in your expectation?" I mutter, i'm tired for screaming at him.

"Because i know you are, i believe in you."

"Please stop saying that! Stop saying that you believe in me, or i am a good person for you!" I snap again.

"Why?"

"Because—" I hesitate. I don't to admit it to myself, but i can't keep this feeling in my chest anymore. If i'm not letting it out, then i will do something that i didn't want to.

"That is the fucking reason why i keep falling for you!"

I don't want to look at him right now, i hate it when he sees my vulnerable side. I know this is incredibly stupid and probably he will told Oriana about this. I have never felt this way before and i don't know how to fucking react.

"Is it real?" He mutter, almost sound like a whisper to me.

"No. I mean, i don't know. Can you please drop me here? I need time to think."

"No, i will take you home right now."

I hate it when he's having a control on me like this, but i'm tired of arguing, so i will just follow him this time. The silences come between us until we arrive at his home and he hold my hand before i can even escape from his car.

"Sorry," He mumble.

I jerk his hand away and run to my bedroom. I feel my tears are coming slowly from my eyes. I lock my door and turn my Nirvana Playlist with the full volume from my speaker. I bury my face on the pillow, so no one could hear me sobbing. I really hate my life.

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That is the fucking reason why i keep falling for you!

That words keep repeating inside my head like a broken cd player. I'm not having an expectation that she would said that out loud, but i can't return her feelings. I love Oriana and she's going to be my wife in a month.

I walk to my storage room and take a bottle of Vodka to calm my thoughts. I don't drink except for the special occasion, but this time i can't help myself to get an alcohol. This is frustrating and my sober self can't handle it.

"Fuck!" I curse after i felt the burning sensation sliding through my throat.

When the alcohol effect starting to get on me, i reach the cellphone on my jeans and dial Oriana. Just in time, she answer my call and i can tell she worries about me.

"Paulo, are you drinking?"

"Yes baby. I miss you so much."

"Where you are right now?" I heard the noisy sounds from her side and she raise her voice so she could hear me better.

"At the storage room, don't worry baby. I really miss your cherry lips on mine and the way you tugged my hair when you're moaning my name. God, i miss you."

"Camila is going to get you there, i will call her."

"Don't. I don't care about her and i love you. I don't need her, i only need you baby."

"Stop it. I'm going to get Anita and call Camila."

"She won't answer. She's in her room doing god-knows-what inside. Did you know that she failed 3 lessons on school, skipping classes and almost use Cocaine in her last party?"

"What? You're drunk Paulo. Of course that's not true!"

"Well i'm speaking the truth. It's your decision to believe me or not. You can't change her and neither do i, she's a damaged. Maybe you should send her back to Argentina. She will ruin our relationship if she stay here longer."

"Paulo don't talk about her like that! You're the one who convince me that it was the best decision to give her the second chances."

"I wasn't going to said that if i knew that she will fall for me."

I didn't hear a reply from her and i just realize that my cellphone is dead. I get up from the floor and see Camila standing behind me, she looks angry and angrier. I focused my sight first so i can see her better there, she looks like she's been crying before.

"Since when you're there?"

"Since you told her that you don't care about me and said that i'm a damaged? Well i know i am Paulo."

I could see tears are falling from her eyes and if i were sober enough, i will take all of my words and said that i didn't mean any of them. I will prevent her tears from falling.

"That's fucking true and remember that i won't return your feelings like they did in a movie."

She stand still in her place as i walk closer to her and pin her against the wall, she can't move at all and she don't even try to.

"You're a fucking jerk Paulo."

"Really? I thought you fall for me."

"Do you really wanna know the truth?" She chuckle. "I just want to play with your little feelings down there, because i know you're the first one who had falls for me."

"Me? Haha." I laugh as hard as i can. What the hell is wrong with my drunk self? "You're the one who kiss me first."

"I was drunk that day, i don't even remember anything at all! You're the one who kissed me while you were sober and just admit it, you hate Léon because you're jealous with him!"

Her face is red and i can't stop staring at her lips. I intertwine our lips together and she gasp because of my action. She is trying to pull away, but i resist. My sober subconcious told me that this is wrong and i shouldn't force her to do any of this, but my drunk self can't negotiate with that.

When she finally stop trying to pull away, i slip my tongue to her mouth and her kiss felt like a Cocaine to me. I feel the tears are streaming down at her face and that's when i realize that i've gone too far.

She pull away when she had a chance and slap my face with her palm. She knew that i'm drunk so she still trying to makes me sober by slapping me for a couple times. I feel sober enough when i prevent her hand for slapping me again.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't do that to you." I frown.

"You're an asshole, Paulo. Your drunk self said it all."

She left to her bedroom and leave me all alone inside the storage room. She's the only one who makes me feel like this and the devil inside of me keep consuming my thoughts. Should i really do this wedding? or not?

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sorry for the short chapter guys. S.