The Captain And I (Captain America Fanfiction) (5th Part)

Chapter Seven: Secrets

As soon as we were alone Steve turned towards me, his blue eyes peering into mine. He wanted answers.

"What was that?" Steve asked me, his voice calm as he did so.

"I just, I just thought that we should talk about all the options," I said, trying to keep my own composure. "I didn't think I had to always agree with you."

"I'm not trying to say you always have to agree with me Mo. But, you don't think that was insensitive back there?"

"I don't think right now is the time to worry about everyone's feelings Steve. We are in the middle of what could be the biggest war of all time. I just think if it comes down to that being our last resort, should we not?" I countered.

"No, I don't. I don't think we should have to trade lives," Steve answered me firmly. "Killing one for thousands should not be our first course of action!"

"I'm not saying it should be! I just think it would be narrow minded not to consider every option we have!"

"Well, I think you should have considered what Wanda must have been feeling before you blurted out you agreed with him," Steve said.

"Yeah well she had her own payback when she asked if I would sacrifice you."

"You had that coming. She was trying to get you to see it from her point of view."

"Well it worked, I could never do that to you. I don't think I would ever live with myself," I said, looking into his eyes now.

"Do you at least see why we shouldn't trade lives?" Steve asked now, his gaze never leaving mine.

"I do," I started. "But what if it comes down to that? What if it is our only option? Do we ignore that?"

"IF it comes to that, Wanda is the one who has to pay that price," Steve answered. "She will have to make that decision, not me. Not you."

I shook my head, feeling bad about the interaction Wanda and I had.

"Well, do you not see my point?" I asked, crossing my arms. "It may have been insensitive, but I'm not completely wrong."

"You're not, but we have to weigh all of our options," Steve said.

I shook my head, agreeing.

"I have to admit, Steve, I'm scared. There's something different about this, I can feel it in my bones," I said, my voice giving everything away. "It has me completely on my edge."

I saw Steve's face soften as he reached out for me. I embraced him as he engulfed me in a hug.

"It'll be okay," Steve said. "We will all get through this."

I tried thinking he was right, hoping he would be.

Before I could reply, Natasha came rounding around the corner.

"The jet's ready, we have to go."

"We'll be right there," I told her, pulling away from our hug. I wiped a small tear that had escaped.

"Are you okay, Mo? What's been going on?" Steve asked. "You really haven't been yourself lately."

"We have to go," I told him, trying to avoid my thoughts once more.

He  grabbed my hand before I could walk away. I turned back towards him.

"You need to tell me," Steve said. "If you just tell me we can work through it, together."

"I don't know if we can," I told him, my voice going down to a whisper. "It'll destroy you."

"What are you not telling me?" Steve asked, his worry out on display now.

"We have to go," I said, worrying over whether or not I should just tell him. To get it over with.

"Please," Steve pleaded. "I want things to go back to normal, you're not yourself when you keep something from me."

"I-I, Steve, I can't have kids."

As soon as the words left my lips I wanted to take them back. The secret had been eating my alive, but this time I didn't feel free.

"I'm so sorry," I said, tears streaming down my face.

Steve said nothing as I cried. I felt completely alone now, his silence meant more than what words could say.

I turned to leave.

"Morgan, wait-" Steve finally spoke up, but it was too late. I teleported down the hall and as soon as I could see the jet I teleported to it.

I quickly found a corner to sit in. I shut down as soon as I was seated. I hugged my knees close to my chest, burying my face. I knew this would happen.

Steve came running into the jet, his voice frantic as he asked Nat where I was. She must have pointed me out because he was beside my side in an instant.

I didn't say a word as he wrapped his arms around me, neither of us saying anything. I could feel the jet lifting into the sky and I knew we would be in Wakanda in a short amount of time.

All of this would have to wait.

But, I couldn't stop the emotions from coming. They continued to come, like shockwaves, each one hitting harder than the last. I could feel my shoulders shaking as it seemed the world crashed around me.

I couldn't give him the one thing I felt I should. The one thing I thought would make up for all my other shortcomings, and yet I failed at this too.

"It's okay," Steve murmured, over and over again as he rocked me back and forth. I continued to cry until there were no tears left. I felt the world around me go black as I drifted to sleep.