The Captain And I (Captain America Fanfiction) (5th Part)

Chapter Eight: Wakanda

I was shaken awake, I jolted up right, looking around frantically. I was only calmed by Steve's hands steadying me.

"It's okay, it's just me," he said reassuring me. "We made it. They're landing now. We have a couple of moments before we have to get off." 

I let out a sigh of relief before standing to my feet. I knew my face must have looked puffy. I tried walking off, not wanting to speak on it more. But, before I could Steve stopped me. 

"How long have you known this?" he asked me, point blank. I knew this was coming. This was the part I dreaded more than anything. To have to tell him. 

"A while," I muttered, not looking into his eyes. I felt guilty all over again. 

"How long?" he asked again, his voice sounding foreign. 

"Since the memories came back about Stark," I said, trying to reach out to him. But, he pulled away. I pulled my hand back, feeling like I had been punched in the gut. 

"You knew this long and never said anything to me?" 

"I didn't know what to do! They sterilized me when I was only sixteen Steve... sixteen..." I stammered. The words came out hoarse. "When I realized what the memory was, I-I didn't know what to do. There was already so much going on, I already felt like I had fucked up your life! How much more damage was I going to do to it?" 

"You have never damaged my life. But, this-this is too far. You should have told me. It doesn't just affect you," Steve said. 

"I know it's not just about me! I thought I was doing the right thing." 

"By not telling me? That we couldn't have a family?" 

"I just-just, I thought it was the right thing," I muttered again. It felt like my world was crashing all around me. 

"I can't even look at you right now." 

With that, he turned on his heels and walked away. The jet had just landed. I heard Natasha tell us we were here in the earpiece. I felt like my chest was going to explode, my heart was pounding  a million miles a minute. 

"Copy," I said into the earpiece.

 I shut off every emotion. No-one needed to know I was dying inside. 

I walked towards the back of the ship, the hatch opening for all of us. Natasha tried making eye contact with me but I only looked straight ahead. 

"Seems like I'm always thanking you for something," Steve said, referring to both Bucky and I. 

"You always seem to know exactly how to help," I said now, smiling my best smile. I would have to push down any feelings that were threatening to boil to the surface at any moment. 

T'Challa greeted Steve and I with a warm handshake. 

I merely looked over at Bruce bowing to T'Challa.

"We don't do that here," T'Challa said. He gestured for Bruce to stand up right, and Bruce gave Rhodey a hard stare.

I rolled my eyes at the two of them.

"So how big of an assault should we expect?" T'Challa asked us, leading us towards the building. 

"Uh sir, sir I think you should expect quite a big assault," Bruce interjected. 

I could tell his voice was nervous, we all should be. There was something coming. Something that was not like anything we had seen before. 

"You will have my Kingsguard, the Border Tribe, the Dora Milaje, and..." he left off.

"A semi stable one hundred year old man," Bucky finished for him. 

He and Steve hugged one another. I stepped forward and hugged him next, not sure what to say. 

I looked over his new arm. 

"I see you got an upgrade," I said finally. 

"I see yours is outdate," he joked back. I nudged him with my arm. I don't know what it was about him but he always made me feel like a little sister, always rolling her eyes at her older brother. 

"How you been Buck?" Steve asked him, still a smile on his face. I knew it had to be as much relief to him as it was to me to see what kind of condition Bucky was in. I had never seen him so calm and collected. He was at peace. 

"Uh, not too bad, for the end of the world," he replied. Although it was half joking, I couldn't help but tense at his words.

"Come, we must get started," T'Challa said, motioning for us to follow him now. 

We got inside and no-one wasted anytime. Vision was put on a table and Shuri, T'Challa's sister, went right to work. 

I made my way to a corner, looking out over Wakanda while they analyzed Vision. It would be a few moments before they needed any input. 

I could feel my emotions wanting to slip out, it was taking everything in me not to let out a few tears. It was as if the girl who used to never cry was completely erased from me now. I could barely hold it together for a few hours, let alone months, year, at a time. 

"You okay?" Natasha said, startling me a little. I was taken out of the small bubble I was in.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told her. I could tell right away she didn't believe me. 

"I'm fine," I said, this time plastering a smile on my face. 

"Whatever you tell yourself." 

"I will be fine." 

"That sounds more accurate," she replied, patting my shoulder. I knew that was the closest I would get to a hug from her. Well one that I didn't initiate anyways. 

"I told him," I told her, barely above a whisper.

"That's what I gathered." 

"You should have seen it, the way he looked at me. I feel like I've lost him Nat," I said, my voice faltering. I felt like a stupid little girl. 

"You haven't. I don't think you ever could Mo. He will forgive you," she told me. 

"I hope so." 

~A/N Hey everyone! This chapter was a little bit of a sad one! Hope you all enjoyed it. And thank you so much for your patience. My classes just started up again so I am trying to get in the swing of things again. 

QOTC: What do you think of what happened between Steve and Morgan? 

As always let me know what you think by either commenting or voting. You all are so awesome for continuing reading and giving this book so much love! ~