But I Love You {UNDER EDITING}

Chapter 21 - "I Am Sorry"

So, the love anonymous series ends.
Here is the next one. Get ready for some heated confrontations.

***

She looked him in the eye. She could see hurt, anger, pain, distress, love and sincerity. The paper in her hand crumpled and she held on to her dress. Gulping down, she tilted her head as if she lost the time she saw a tear sliding down his cheek.

He sat beside her at the corner of the street. He wanted to feel her. And he did. He knew he couldn't just hug her tight. When finally his heart gave in, he leaned to hold her hand. As his hand touched hers, he could feel her shivering. Not able to take it anymore, he got up leaving her hand abruptly.

Moments later, he sensed her standing beside him. Turning in a swift, his eyes met hers. Oh, what a mess it was!

She squeezed her eyes twice as he moved forward. They were inches apart. She couldn't blink. He couldn't breathe.

He lifted his hands up, cupping her face. She closed her eyes, rubbing her cheek against his palm, feeling his touch. He lifted her chin up as she opened her eyes.

One look at his teary eyes and she couldn't take it anymore. She pulled him into a bone crushing hug, as he gasped by the mere touch of their bodies after ages.

He could hear her sob loudly against his chest. Shutting his eyes tight, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her impossibly closer.

A feel of relief in that short hug was all they needed. What followed next was loud sobs of her and a complete silence of him.

She pressed her lips on his arm lightly as he felt a gush of spark tingle inside him. He was left dumbfounded when he heard her say, "I am sorry."

He came back to the harsh realities. He realized he had been living in a small bubble of fantasy which was inhumanly bursted by her sentence.

His hands dropped down her waist as she felt him stiffen. She clinged on to him even more, squeezing the fabric of his jacket at his back.

"Why?" was all he could utter. All he received as her answer was again a loud sob.

"I am asking something. Why did you do this to me?" He clenched his teeth, anger roaring inside him. But he still sounded calm. She knew if she would leave him right at the place, his anger would reach the extreme. So she just hold on to him tighter.

He grabbed her face lightly, and pulled it up, forcing her to face him. Her hands still wrapped around his waist.

"I didn't deserve this Ms Rathore? Did I?" He was calm. But there was still a thorn in his tone, that pierced her. Even more than that, the way he said Ms Rathore pained her. She was his Aditi, his Adi.

"I.. I know. You didn't deserve this. But I did."

That was enough for him. He shoved her off, pushing her away from him. "Dare you say that again! No!" He shouted, his eyes raging with anger. She trembled at his raised voice.

She lowered her gaze,"I am sorry."

"There you go again. Why are you sorry?" He came closer to her, holding her shoulders and shaking her not so violently.

"I am sorry for everything." She muttered deciding that the street was the best place to look at.

He instantly left her shoulders and stepped back. She could see disappointment in his eyes.

"Do you think this is that easy?" He was now calm. His voice no longer held rage. But she could still see that hurt in his eyes. The pain that she never wanted to give him. But she did. She has hurt him, she knew that.

"You don't know the truth." She looked at him, whispering under her breathe.

"God! I know it! I know everything. Every freaking detail. I know what did that jerk say to you. I know what did you feel. I know why NK ended. I know why did you cry. I know why were you hurt. I know why did you pretend." He paused, and his eyes softened. His voice lowered as he continued,"I know why did you leave. I know it. All!"

She looked at him in disbelief. Her eyes holding loads of emotions at the same time. "Yo..you...kn..knew?" She fumbled.

"Yes." He was determined and she stepped back. "Why didn't you stop me?"

"Why would I? You clearly know I am not the one to force anyone. Not even you! Also, I had planned it entirely different. I couldn't accept the fact that..." He couldn't complete it. May be he was at loss of words. Or may be he didn't know what to say.

"That?" He heard her whisper as she lifted her tiny head up, full of pain.

"That you were so insecure. So much!" He mumbled, tilting his head sideways. And right there, she fell in love with this man all over again. Though he was hell hurt, he still cared for her being insecure. He still cared for her. He still knew that he was there to relieve her. She was sure that he was the best!

She lifted her feet slowly, walking towards him. He waited for her to reach him. As soon as she neared him, she saw a tear rolling down his cheek. She forwarded her hand and rubbed it off.

"I am sorry." She mumbled.

"I had planned it differently Ms Rathore." He stepped back.

"How did you?" She finally asked.

"I thought I wouldn't stop you from going because if you trusted me, you would have never done that." He paused.

"I am sorry" she whispered.

"I thought I would become the Love Anonymous and would teach you to love yourself." He continued.

"You did."

"I had thought I will write those chits to you and would make you believe in yourself."

"You did." She muttered.

"I had thought I will have you back."

"I am sorry."

"I thought you loved me." He spoke, his eyes glassy.

She opened her mouth to say something but then paused.

"What do you mean? I did. You know that." She said, looking him in the eye.

"But you didn't know. Because you don't do what you did to me to the one you love." He was hurt.

"I am sorry."  She spoke, after a while.

"But I won't forgive you." He said, and there her head shot up.

"Zain..." She couldn't form a proper sentence.

"What?"

"You did that?" She asked.

"No." He answered. She was taken aback by the extent to which he knew her. She didn't clarify what she was talking about. But he answered. Without hesitating.

"I have deleted the post." He spoke in a while.

"I wasn't the one to post that. You already know I could never do that. It is just that, Purvi came to know about it all. She visited me. I was sleeping. She just posted the picture with that caption, tagging you. After that, she confidently told me that she did that. It didn't take me a while to delete that." He narrated and she was shocked. How could people stoop so low!

"I am sorry." She mumbled once again, listening to whatever he told.

"Stop it. This is doing no good. I am hurt. Not angry. There is a difference. You could have shared it with me, your insecurities. You didn't. May be because you didn't trust me enough. It is real life Ms Rathore. You are not Avni. Who could just run away so easily." He was not calm. But he was not enraged too. His tone conveyed pain and she felt a sharp stab right in her heart.

"I am sorry." She spoke it again.

"I came to know it all when you were drunk that night. The night of NK farewell." He spoke, finding it better to clear things out.

She gasped in surprise. A few minutes of silence passed. She stared at him blankly.

"I am sorry." She uttered only to find him turning away and leaving the place.