incomparable » changki

fifteen

Changkyun was avoiding Kihyun.

Ever since the incident last week, he hadn't texted, eaten lunch with or even looked at Kihyun or any of his friends.

He knew he was being a dick, but he didn't have it in himself to be confronted by them. He would crack, and he would never be able to look at them again knowing that he lied to his friends.

Every time he saw Minhyuk in the corridors, he turned around and walked in the other direction. He couldn't take knowing that they were all there, probably worrying about him, and Changkyun was avoiding all of them.

"Is everything ok with you and Kihyun?" Soonyoung asked worriedly, and Changkyun nodded. "You're lying to me."

Changkyun looked up at the younger boy, his own eyebrows furrowed,

"I'm not lying," he assured. "We've just been busy. Where's Wonwoo? Isn't he supposed to always be here?"

"He's at his Aunt's wedding," the redhead answered, and Changkyun refrained from breathing out a sigh of relief at the topic change. "I bet he looks so good in a suit."

"Ask him to send you a picture or something," the hazelnut-haired boy shrugged, and Soonyoung gasped.

"That's such a good idea!" He exclaimed, picking up his phone. "You know, I met his parents the other day. They're so loud like me, but then you see Wonwoo and you think: 'how?'."

Changkyun forced himself to smile. It would've been a lot easier if he weren't so damn alone inside of his head. He missed Kihyun. He missed Minhyuk. He missed the random hugs he would get and the compliments and the skinship. He missed everything, but he chalked all his misfortune down to never being able to be happy.

Every time something good happened to Changkyun, it never lasted. That was probably why he was still with Yungjae, because it wasn't good or healthy, and the world just hated him.

~*~

Changkyun tried to pay attention to the TV - he really did - but all he could think about was Kihyun.

What made thinking about Kihyun even worse was the fact that he was currently in the arms of his boyfriend, supposed to be enjoying a rare movie night.

Yungjae still wasn't in any better mood than he had been in the past few days, but he still wanted to cuddle on the couch with Changkyun and watch movies.

Luckily, Yungjae didn't even seem to notice how tense Changkyun was; or if he did notice, he just didn't care. He didn't even know what had happened last week, didn't know that Changkyun didn't sleep a wink the night it happened. He didn't know that Changkyun bunked one of his art lessons to go and cry in the toilets.

Yungjae didn't know anything, and Changkyun blamed himself entirely. What kind of a boyfriend - what kind of a person - was he? He was despicable. He couldn't even be honest with the person he purported to love.

But he didn't love him...

All of a sudden, Changkyun's phone pinged from the coffee table in front of them, and the screen lit up alongside the notification.

He leaned forward slightly just to check what it was, and when he saw a text from Kihyun, he completely ignored it.

Yungjae gave him an awkward glance, but soon went back to watching the TV. When Changkyun's phone pinged again, the younger male switched it to silent and turned it onto its front so he wouldn't be able to see if he got anymore texts.

Probably around half an hour later, Changkyun excused himself to go to the toilet, and Yungjae sat up to stretch.

Changkyun took a moment to splash his face with cold water. He needed to wake up at least a little, and realise that things happened for a reason. He pushed Kihyun out because that was what he was supposed to do, otherwise his life wouldn't make sense.

When he returned to the living room, Changkyun was surprised to see Yungjae standing up instead of sitting down, and it only took him a few seconds to realise he was pissed.

"Yungjae?" He asked cautiously, and when the older male turned around with Changkyun's phone in his hands, Changkyun felt his heartbeat pick up immensely.

"'Changkyun, I'm sorry'," he began to read out. "'You don't have to say anything to me, but we can just pretend Jooheon and I never saw your arms. We're just worried about you - even Minhyuk is sad now because you're not around. Please come back to us.'."

"Yungjae, I-" Changkyun began, but the older male cut him off.

"You let them see your arms?" He asked, so much hatred and spite on his tongue that Changkyun could taste it himself from the other side of the room.

"It was an accident, I swear," the younger male uttered, and Yungjae scoffed. "I was styling his hair and my sleeves fell down, I swear, Yungjae."

Yungjae took a step towards Changkyun and the latter immediately stepped backwards, only to find himself stumbling into the kitchen.

"I bet you were wishing they would see, weren't you?" He laughed maniacally, and Changkyun gulped thickly. "You probably wanted them to feel sorry for you, to get their attention because that's all you want - the attention."

"N-No," Changkyun whimpered, backing up until his lower back hit the rough, uneven surface of the drawers behind him.

Yungjae was nearing closer and closer by now, and Changkyun's heart was beating so loudly he could hear it in his ears. He could feel his pulse thrumming sporadically like the actions of a drummer in a rock band, and his breathing was so shallow, he thought he would pass out.

Locating a glass on the counter as he approached Changkyun, Yungjae picked it up in his hand and gripped onto it so tightly Changkyun feared it would smash in his hands.

All of a sudden, Yungjae was launching the glass at Changkyun's head, and the boy only had not even a second to duck and the glass went smashing against the cupboard behind his head.

The force of the smashing and the stray shard of glass that bounced off of the cupboard to chip into the side of Changkyun's face caused the boy to yelp out in pain, and that was when the tears started flowing.

"After all I've done for you!" Yungjae yelled, grabbing Changkyun by the hair and yanking him up to look Yungjae in the eye. "I took you in, loved you, gave you everything you've ever asked for, and this is how you repay me? You do the one thing I've always told you not to do!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Changkyun cried, feeling the blood trickle down the side of his face painfully.

His whole body was thrumming, and Changkyun sucked in a huge breath.

Was this how he was going to die? Changkyun always had a feeling that Yungjae would kill him one day, and as that possibility ran through his mind again, Changkyun realised how pitiful that was.

He thought his boyfriend would kill him.

"P-Please," Changkyun whimpered pathetically, and Yungjae growled at him before throwing him to the ground and storming off.

Changkyun scrambled to his feet, not caring if Yungjae was still in the room or even remotely close to him. His instincts had always told him to run, to escape, and he finally decided to listen to them.

~*~

where's he gonna go owo