Good Boy, Bad Boy

5: Birthday

10th October. My birthday. Yay...
I hate my birthday. I liked it until I started high school. I didn't have friends, no one to celebrate it but my mom. She got annoying with time though. I love her and I appreciate all she's done for me but I grew a little too old for the flashy decorations and cartoony birthday cakes.

"Ashby Brooks please report to the principals office." A voice booms through the speakers I didn't even know existed. We're in the middle of Science and everyone looks at me. I'm the center of attention again. 

"Go on Ashby." The teacher tells me and I pick up my backpack and leave.

I knock on the principals door and she tells me to enter.

"Good morning Ashby." I sit down.

"Did I do something?" I hope I didn't.

"You don't need to do something bad to come here Ashby. It's the opposite." She bends down and comes up with a cake box in her hands.

"Your mother told me to buy you this exact cake for your birthday. So I did." She hands me the cake and I take it.

"Thank you." Why do I feel like crying? Stop it Ash, your mom just cares for you. No need to get sappy. 

"You're free to go now. And happy birthday." She smiles and after I force one smile too I leave. The bells ring as I head back but I change direction to the cafeteria because now it's lunch time. Wait no. I need to leave this cake in my room. I can't be seen with it, I'll look like a fool.

"What do you have there Ash?" Ah, fuck my luck. 

"Nothing." I tell Trevor, who surprisingly isn't with his friends.

"Is that a cake?" He beams.

"No." I continue walking to the room. He follows.

"It's a cake man. It smells like chocolate." 

"Okay Einstein. You solved the unsolvable equation. Congrats. Now can you leave me?" I need some space now.

"Okay man. Geez, sorry." Thank god he stops. I reach my room and leave the cake on my bedside table. 

"Ugh, mom...why did you do this?" I laugh to myself and I feel tears well up in my eyes. I know exactly why I feel like crying. I did say I find this annoying but I love mom for it. It's so dumb and she knows exactly how I feel about it but she still does it. She knows that ever since...ever since my dad passed away 5 years ago, just a day before my birthday, I've hated it. But my dad loved it, he especially loved the cakes. So, ever since then my mom made sure to give me a cake for my birthday. Partially as a way to pay her respects for him and for me. A cake is a signature sign for  birthdays and it's the most simple thing that can make anyone smile.
Now, even though I'm crying, they're tears of joy, because I know my mom loves me and my dad still. Even though I did so many bad things, I became rebellious, I didn't listen to her...It was a way for me to cope with my dad death and I found closure in it. With time it became a part of me and it still sticks.
When I feel better I call my mom.

"Hey mom." 

"Hello honey. Happy Birthday." 

"Thank you for the cake."

"Oh, you know how I like to surprise you. Especially on your birthday."

"Did you...visit dad?"

"I did. I told him that you're in a new school. Oh by the way honey, how is it there? Did you make any friends?"

"Uh, it's good. The teachers are nice and I made a few friends." Well, they're still not friends. More like acquaintances but mom doesn't need to know that.

"I'm glad dear. I have to go now, I'm at work. Call me when you can. I love you. Bye."

"Love you too. Bye mom."

I don't know why but I feel awkward now. All my classes after lunch I feel like everyone is looking at me and silently judging. I glance around way too many times but I can't shake off the uneasy feeling. Nobody saw you crying Ash, stop being so paranoid.

Later on, after classes are finished I go back into my room but find that Trevor and Elliot are inside. I'm not letting those two pull me away from my bed. 

"Don't talk to me." I say and lay down in bed with my back towards them.

"Happy Birthday Ash." I hear Trevor say a little sad and silent. Now you're being a jerk by ignoring him Ash.

I turn their way and sit up.

"Thanks. How did you figure it out?" 

"Uh, well, we kinda took a peak at the cake." Trevor rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Want some?" I ask.

"Yeah, sure." Yeah, I have forks in my suitcase too. Mom packed some plastic ones, just in case. 

"We don't have a knife so..." I open the cake that says 'Happy 18th Birthday Ashy' on it with chocolate and of course my mom just had to put little superhero action figurines on it. How embarrassing. 

I give it to them but they share a look and Elliot says, "Aren't you having some too?"

"Later." They don't eat though.

"Birthday boy has to have the first bite." Trevor stabs out some cake and goes for my mouth airplane mode.

"Come on Ashy~. Here comes the airplane." I roll my eyes and open up my mouth. 

"Why didn't you celebrate your birthday?" He then asks as he sits back on his bed next to Elliot. They both take a bite out of the cake now.

"Don't feel like it." I shrug.

"But it's your 18th birthday man. I got suspended when I threw a big party for mine." Elliot says.

"Not the type." 

"We gotta make it special somehow. There must be something you wanna do right now." Trevor is right. I do want to do something. 

"There is. But you're gonna make fun of me so I'm not saying." 

"We won't. It's your wish so we'll do it. We'll even pinky promise." Elliot puts out his pinky finger. I hesitate but I don't see anything suspicious on their faces so I make a pinky promise.

"So what is it?" Trevor asks.

"I wanna do some stargazing." 

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Trevor and Elliot smile and nod.

"Let's go on the roof Ash."

"Are we allowed here?" I ask them.

"No. But who cares? It's late and everyone is asleep so now the world is ours." Elliot yells.

"If you're that loud I don't think they'll sleep for long." I comment. 

Trevor and Elliot lay down on the ground and I join them in the middle.

"I've never done this." Elliot says quietly. 

"It's nice though isn't it?" I ask.

"Yeah. It's quiet and calm. A little cold but eh." 

"I think I see the big bear constellation." Trevor points to somewhere.

"Where?" I ask.

"See that shiny star over..." He takes my hand, squints one eye and starts to point out the star "there. Now follow down until you reach another one like that and another there on the right...connect the rest of the tiny ones and you'll see it." He drops my hand. Why does my hand feel warm and tingly... 

"Oh I see it now." Elliot exclaims.

"Yeah, me too." I almost laugh, but stop myself.

"Did Ash just laugh?" Trevor gasps.

"I didn't." 

"Let your feelings run free Ashy." Elliot turns to me and his face is just a mere inch from mine.

"Shut up." I turn his head the other side. Am I blushing now?