His, Eternally [18+]

Chapter Thirty-One: Forgiveness

this chapter gets a little... tangy, if you know what i'm sayinnnn
reader discretion advised! xoxo love u all
~cori

Indie's Point of View:

       After Mila had come to talk to me, I went about my day normally. I went to work, waited tables, went through the motions as I had always done. I had gone home and studied for my first college anatomy test, and listened to my regular playlists. I hated admitting it to myself, but I missed his presence. Hell, even thinking that to myself made me want to get punched in the face. But, I couldn't help it. It genuinely felt like a part of me was missing, and I often found myself dozing off. I didn't want space from Thaddeus, despite me telling Mila the opposite. I know I should want him to leave me alone, but the thought of not seeing him for even a few days made my heart feel like it was breaking. I closed my book, taking off my glasses before dozing off into a deep sleep.

"Indie." I heard a deep voice say, making me jolt in surprise. It was Thaddeus, standing in my window. I pulled the blanket to my chest, my pulse racing from his abrupt appearance. "I am sorry to frighten you, unum parvum," [Small one].

"Did Mila not tell you that I needed space?" I blurted out, lying to myself and him. I knew deep down that I didn't want him to be away from me, but I didn't want to appear too weak and forgiving for his merciless actions. He looked at the window sill, cautiously climbing in with ease so that I wouldn't freak out.

"I felt your pull towards me. I feel the same for you, but I didn't want to overstep." He said huskily, sitting on the edge of my bed. I naturally scooted back, despite me wanting to just fall into his arms and have him hold me. God, I sounded so pathetic. I knew I shouldn't want him, but no matter how many times I tried to tell myself that the closer I grew to him. All of my feelings for him were utterly inevitable.

"I want to apologize. That wasn't fair to you, and I understand it was probably overwhelming." He reaches a hand out to my face to cup it, but I turned my head to avoid his touch.

"It sounds like you're being forced to say that." I mumbled, his gaze burning into the side of my face like a cigarette butt being put out on an ashtray.

"I am not, Indie. I just- I don't know. I am bad at this stuff. I'm sorry, and I mean it, little one. I shouldn't have ever done that in front of you. It was selfish, and I scared you. I want you to trust me." He said, his voice no louder than a whisper. His tone was soft, like a melting candle, as I felt myself ease under his presence.

"I hate that I can't hold grudges against you. I've spent so long building this barrier... t-to protect myself. To protect myself from being hurt by others. I feel like no matter what you do, I will always come back to you. I hate it, I feel so vulnerable, Thaddeus. I should absolutely despise you right now, but I can't bring myself to it." I choked out, biting at the skin on my fingers. He pulled my hands from my face, holding my wrists gently. It made me feel so loved. With anyone else, he was so ruthless, so horrible and mean-hearted — but with me, he was this different person. He showed me the side of him that others hadn't seen before, as Mila had put it.

"I am sorry, sweet Indie." My face was now completely held by his hands, as I felt myself leaning into his touch. He twirled a piece of my hair around his finger, studying me intently. "I love how assertive you are, how you speak your mind. I absolutely adore it." I smiled lightly, my face feeling hot. I knew he was sweet-talking me, but I started to really believe everything he was saying. I could hear the genuine tone that colored his voice, making me relax. I couldn't help it anymore, I needed him — whether I liked it or not.

"Why did you have to kill those men?" I questioned, trying not to be too distracted from his touch.

"They were looking at you... like they would take me from you. They couldn't, obviously; but I can't stand the way they look at you. They looked at you with lust."