How did I get here?

Chapter 53

As I got ready for bed that night I quietly hummed as I brushed my hair. I hear a knock at the door, which pulls me out of my daze.
"Come in," I answer.
"Well it's good to see you happy," Aspen says as he walks in.
"Things get better," I say.
"They always do," he says then hesitantly adds, "Can I talk to you about something?" He asks.
"Sure what is it?" I say as we both move over to sit on my bed.
He lets out several deep breaths, and finally he reaches into his back pocket. After moments of waiting, he pulls out a small ring box. He opens it and revivals a beautiful diamond ring. It had one big diamond in the center and little diamonds surrounding it.
"Wow Aspen I'm flattered," I joke knowing it's for Lucy.
"I knew you would like it," he says.
"well that's all that matters than right?" I joke.
"Well you and Lucy do have some similar tastes," Aspen says.
"Dang it, it's not for me?" I say fake being hurt.
"Sorry about that Mer," he says laughing it off too.
"She'll love it, oh can I be there when you do it?" I ask like a eager little kid.
"Wow, you just love being involved in my love life don't you?" He asks.
"Well duh," I say, which makes him smile.
"I was your love life for two years remember?" I add.
"You know most ex- girlfriends just say we can be friends and then they avoid you like the plague."
I let out a small laugh and shake my head. "Well I'm not a normal ex-girlfriend," I say.
"I've picked that up about you," he says.
"You still didn't answer my question, can I be there?" I asks.
"If you'll film it," Aspen says.
I bounced up and down in my seat, which makes him laugh.
"When is it?" I ask.
"As soon as I fully get up the guts to do it," he says.
"Ugg," I say and fall back onto the bed. "Just man up and do it."
"Easier said then done," Aspen quickly contradicts me.
"She loves you, you love her, I don't see the problem."
"Why won't you marry Maxon right now then?" He asks and this shuts me up.
"That's different," I say.
"Slightly yes, but the situation is still the same." He says.
"Your right," I say.
"I'm sorry what was that?" He says and I can tell he just wants me to say it again.
"You heard me, I'm not saying it again," I say.
"Look Mer, we both have our fears about getting married, but if you are willing to even give Maxon a shot I should be able to propose."
"Aww does this mean I inspire you?" I ask in a joking tone.
"Everyday," He says with a smile, except he isn't joking.
"Thank you," I say.
"No problem," he says smiling.
"I think you should think about it for a week, but the more you wait the harder I think it will become."
"I think your probably right, but I'm half way there I have the ring," he says.
"See that's the hardest part," I say.
"That's probably true, I'll let you know when I'm going to do it."
"Sooner rather than later, I hope." I wink at him and he smiles and shakes is head at me.
"I'll let you know," he says. "I've got to get back work," he adds.
"Okay, think really hard about proposing."
"I'll try my best," he says.
As Aspen gets up we hear quick footsteps outside my door.
"I wonder who that was?" I ask.
"Not sure, I'll let you know if I find out." He says. He quickly leaves and hurries down the hall to get to his next post.
A few minutes pass and Lucy silently shuffled into my room.
"Was it you listening to my conversation with Aspen?" I ask.
"Maybe, but don't tell him." She says.
"My lips are sealed," I say.
I see a smile creep in her face and I can tell how excited she is about this.
"Why won't he just do it already," she says.
"Maybe because of me," I say.
"Wait what would you have to do with this?" She asks, suddenly seeming very concerned.
"Aspen and I were at a point where we were ready to get married before the selection," I say and I look up at her face. I can tell she kind of knew this already, but not to the full extent. "Anyway, when I had told him I wanted Maxon, even though he had you it gave him this fear."
"What do you mean?" She asks.
"Well we were basically at the point before the selection that we were talking about getting married and then I ended up falling for someone else, I think he is scared you will do the same."
"But I won't, I love him."
"I thought the same thing," I say.
"Do you think I'll do that," she asks suddenly seeming very concerned.
"No, no not at all. I'm just saying because of that he has this fear."
"Maybe I should talk to him," Lucy says.
"You could, but you would have to admit to him that you were listening."
"Your right," she says and silently plays with the hem of her apron.
"I think you do what you think is right, you can't go wrong either way." I say.
"Thanks, and America one more thing?"
"What?" I say.
She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak.