[JESSIE J & CHANNING TATUM FANFIC] "TEMPORARILY"

CHAP 19: YOU BEING ONE OF MY BESTFRIENDS IS THE BEST THING EVER

It had been the second last day of the R.O.S.E Tour. I got one more to go in Cologne, Germany 2 days later, and that was it. I was nearly done with everything I poured my heart and soul in to prepare 7 months ago.

I got so emotional, because letting this Tour go felt like you just delivered a child you carried for months with extra heaviness on your body, sickness on your health, losing appetite because of the whole pregnancy thing, but could only hold it in your arms for 5 minutes. I felt empty and wasn't ready to let it go like this. Of course I couldn't wait to finish this tour, but on the other hand, I didn't have a heart to let it go this fast.

This tour, this album, and my heartbeats were everything that kept me on the stage, otherwise I wasn't planning to go back to this sparkling Hollywood fancy shit. Before this Tour, I wanted to get married, to sing for my husband and children, and I thought that was about it, I was just gonna stop everything here, I was so done with the pressure from being Jessie J. But I couldn't just leave my fans like that, could I?

I know there are many of someone out there that are definitely not related to me, or I don't even know how they look like, and they still love me more than themselves. I appreciate the love from my heartbeats, so I decided to give my career another shot, I decided to come back for them and because of them.

I wanted to be back strong, but I needed something to make me strong again, and this album was my weapon.

I didn't do any promotions for my album, because it wasn't about awards, or sales or attention.

I wrote every single song in this album with literally all of me, because I needed the acceptance from me and others of my vulnerability, of me being real, of me living my life as an artist, of me loving myself the way I deserved to be so. I was just desperate for all those things to come into my life again, so I could continue on this singing path of mine. And I did it, you guys. With my heartbeats' and family's and friends' love, I finally almost had it done.

I was so proud of myself for not withdrawing but continuing to pursue my whole life dream. I hoped people who loved me were proud of me too, because I really gave you all my supremely best shot.

If you didn't like none of the things I had done in this 2018, you probably are a really really difficult person to be satisfied. And I aint got time for the whole winning-over shit anymore, I'm sorry but I'm running out of time. If you don't like and accept me and my music now, just give up on me please, cos you will never be able to like it in the future, because this is really me, and I'll keep doing this on and on.

But seriously though, as an artist, I sincerely did all I could.

When I was off the stage, Channing instantly ran from the other side of the hallway to hug me in his arms. I couldn't hold my tears anymore but broke down in his safe embrace.

Channing laughed at my sulky bum bum and slightly kissed on my temple. He said:

-      Good job Mrs. You're amazing. Amsterdam was amazing. Every second was perfect. – Channing was so happy complimenting me.

Well it wasn't that perfect for him, because I just raised my middle finger at him in front of hundreds of people in the stadium LOL.

What happened was I was singing "Play" and all of a sudden half of my fans looked up at the balcony and half of that half had their phone pointing towards that direction. And you know who was standing there in that motherfucking balcony? Who other than Channing Tatum!?

I was half mad and half happy. I was happy because my fans who loved me, loved him as well. Our relationship was accepted by half of my world so that was excitingly good news.