Breathe.

1

I've been holding this one in my drafts for a while, I guess because I put more into this one than I've put in for a while. I touched on a subject that needed to be touched on in a way that only I could. I hope you enjoy, because I've placed a piece of my heart into this.

This is for everyone whose been told their black lives don't hold enough weight in the world to make someone of non color care. This is for everyone African American. Your crown holds just as much weight as anyone else's. Remember that.

Welcome,
to Breathe.

Toni Braxton

Dear Diary,

I lost my soul today. I can't get it back, I've tried, I swear I have but it seems like I left it on the pavement of the road tonight. It seems like I left it in the drivers seat of that car. It seems like I left it with no one to guard it— my worse fear is that someone has already taken it. I didn't notice it was missing until it was too late. Too late to save it. Too late to save my thoughts and sanity. My heart lays on the pavement, on the seats, on the wheel, next to a huge amount of hatred. Damn diary, I lost my soul today.

2 Hours Before

"Toni, we might as well head to the arcade."

"No." I shut that down. "We might as well head back to my home so my mother won't beat me and I'll live to see another day."

Kenny looked at me as he chuckled. "Sis, when you gone get over this scared tactic shit?"

"When they stop whooping me!" I exclaimed as he started laughing harder. "And slow down before we wreck."

"I'm literally doing 75."

"In a 60, slow down. I'm not ready to die or get beat. You know Evelyn don't play that." I pointed out.

He shook his head. "Okay. Okay. You right about that. Fine."

We were headed down Highway 90, the road empty from it being so late. It was 11 pm and this small city was barely populated as is. Mostly elders roamed this place, and they were long and asleep.

Kenny and I were headed to my place coming from our friend, Janet's, house. We had our science project in the back, which was due tomorrow. We were the King and Queens of Procrastination. Our parents hated it, but we felt like it produced our best work.

I noticed a car sitting off to the side of the road and my eyes widened when I realized exactly what it was. "Kenny, slow down! The cops!"

By time Kenny went to get off the gas, we had already shot past the cop car. He looked over at me and then in the rear view. "Maybe no ones in it. Maybe it's just a scare tactic."

He jinxed himself because lights went on behind us and the cop came up on our bumper. Kenny sighed as he pulled over. My hands began shaking as my heart began beating loudly. Mommy had told me about this. How cops sometimes abuse their authority. I quickly pulled out my phone and began voice recording.

Kenny looked over at me. "Calm down. We will be fine."

I nodded softly as I tried to calm my breaths. Unfortunately when the cop used the flashlight to bang on the window, my breathing went to jackrabbiting again.