Breathe.

28

Toni Braxton

My mother stood in my face next to Nafessa's mom. I was shocked and confused because I thought they'd never be in the same room again. Let alone standing in our faces side by side.

"Mom?"

Nafessa and I looked at each other and then back at them before I asked. "What're you doing here?"

Momma J smiled at me. "Toni Michelle, girl look at you. You've grown up so much on me." She pulled me into a hug which I gladly returned. "How've you been?"

"No. Let's not side track here. What's going on?" Nafessa asked them as we released from the hug.

"Invite us in and we'll tell you." Momma J mumbled.

Fessa moved to the side and I backed up to allow them room to come in. They entered and decided to stand in front of the couch in silence. Their eyes stared at us causing me to ask Fessa lowly. "Are we supposed to do something?"

"I don't know. I'm just really lost." She whispered back.

"Well. Close the door and come have a seat you two." Momma J pointed at the couch in front of them.

Slowly, Fes closed the door and we walked over and sat on the couch. I sat on one end and Fessa sat on the other as we looked down at the coffee table separating us from our mothers. Nobody spoke at first. Silence wrapped around the condo harshly. Uncomfortably and cold. Why in the Hell did it feel like I was a child waiting on my parents to give me a speech and then ground me?

My mother cleared her throat suddenly and it caused us to look up. "I came here to apologize. We didn't know you'd be here Toni, but I'm glad that you are. I would like to apologize to the both of you. For not protecting you alls relationship and instead punishing you two by keeping you apart. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. So I came here to change it. To fix it."

"We came here to tell you that from this point on you get honesty from us. You get love from us. You get support from us. But most importantly, you get our support." Momma J expressed and my mother nodded in agreement.

"I'm so sorry for the part I played in driving you two apart but I want you to know it won't happen again. I'll never make the mistake of choosing a man over my children again. I became a mini version of that man and I'm sorry. I'm sorry about making you marry someone you truly didn't love. But I know you love Nafessa. I know that you have always loved her. So, we came to fix it. Janila and I came to tell you two that if being together would make you all happy, it would make us happy as well."

"Exactly." Mama J confirmed. "And please know that we are serious because I came straight out of an OR to tell you two this. Evelyn showed up at my job and apologized to me, just so we could talk to you two as a unit."

My mother never apologized. Like ever. It was weird seeing her like this. Apologetic. Still, somehow I knew she was being genuine.

"So...." Mama J asked us suddenly.

Nafessa looked at her mother. "So what mom? What do you want us to say?"

"Anything. Say that you two are going to work on something. Say that you two are going to fix things and be happy again. Say something."

Her saying that caused Nafessa and I to look back and forth from each other then to them. I stood up. "I have to get home to Kennedy. Mom, it's alright. Alls forgiven. Mama J, it was amazing seeing you. Bye everyone."

Walking to the door, I couldn't even get my hand on the handle before my mother spoke. "Stop being afraid to love. Stop being afraid to take another chance. I get it. It's not high school anymore. There's more risks. More chances of failure's. I get it Toni. I do. You get it from me truly. I get that I may have ruined the idea of love for you. I understand, but it's better to let her know how you truly feel then to walk out and regret it."

Turning and facing the trio, I spoke. "I'm going to say this. Not because I want anything to happen now but because my moms right and if I don't say this now I may never build up the courage to say it ever again. I never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. You were the only person who saw me and it was just your first day of school. Those months we got to spend together were the best months of my life. I feel like that elevator moment was supposed to happen. It needed to happen because I have never stopped loving you and I needed that wake up call. I needed to remember that you were the only thing that helped my world spin." I sighed softly before turning back around, feeling my anxiety flaring harshly. "And now that I've said that... I'm gonna go. Goodnight everyone."

I walked out of the condo and towards the elevators. Hitting the button, I wished the damn thing would hurry up. When the doors finally opened, I got on and hit the button for the first floor. The doors went to shut before an arm stopped them and they suddenly opened again. I looked up to see Nafessa.

She got on the elevator and soon the doors shut behind her. It was silent before she rushed up to me and our lips met. I let my purse fall to the ground as I wrapped my arms around her neck. Butterflies set off in my stomach again. Just like they always did back in the day. Her tongue swiped across my lips asking for entrance and I gladly granted it.

We pulled apart when the elevator beeped signaling that we'd made it to the ground floor. The doors opened but neither of us moved as she spoke. "I feel the same way. There isn't a day where I don't think about you. Or how you're doing. Or what you're feeling. Even when I'm learning lines for auditions or at dinners with Ry and Kel, something always makes me remember you. It's been like that for 12 years and I wouldn't change it even if I had the choice too. When you left, my world shattered and it felt like you had packed my heart in your suitcase and took it with you across the United States. You will always be my first love. Always. And even if you chose to get up and move away tomorrow, you'd still have my heart. My heart is always with you. You will always have a piece of me, Toni Michelle Braxton."