Cash Baker's Girl

Part 29 - I'm Scared

We walked back into the house, happy to be home. We've spent the past near month in Ohio and now we're back home. Today is April fourteenth. Lysandra has a dress for tomorrow picked out for me. I set Piper on the floor. We'd given the red pup the name of Piper and the black one is Pepper. Cash kissed my cheek after he put Pepper down. The last month consisted of him and Maverick working hard on a new song. I've gotten no sleep not that I need it. Cash and I stay up late just talking. I've felt kind of useless recently. I've been training the puppies and keeping up with my studies, but that's about it.

"Hey." Cash whispered.

"Hi." I replied in a whisper as well.

"So, I have good news."

"And what is that?"

"On Monday, we could be going back to school. If you want. Maverick talked to the principal and the board who agreed to take us back." I bit my lip, thinking about it.

"I don't know, Cash. Actually, I don't care. We can go back if you want too."

"Are you sure? I just want to be able to graduate with you."

"Then let's do it." Cash smiled. "I actually have to go visit Lysandra. She's helping me plan for tomorrow and I miss her. I love you."

"I love you too." Cash gave me a kiss then I left. I went nextdoor to my own house. I just entered, announcing my arrival loudly. I went to Jason's bedroom, knocking on the door.

"Come in, Ashley!" Lysandra squealed. I entered the room. Lysandra has the dress ready for me.

"How are you?" I asked her with a smile.

"Not as great as usual." She grimaced. "This baby hates me." I chuckled. She handed me the dress and forced me into the bathroom. I put it on then exited the bathroom. Lysandra squealed ecstatically. I stood in front of her full body mirror. The dress is black. It has a trail the flows around me. One sleeve is almost nonexistent with just the wrist and the other is lace with floral markings. My breast had the same floral on it, but it's not see through. "Cash will so want you after tomorrow. Have you guys had sex yet?"

"Uh..... no..." I whispered. "We haven't. We came close multiple times, but one of us ends up stopping it."

"Why do you stop it?"

"I'm scared." I admitted. "I've slept with so many guys that I shouldn't be, but Cash actually means something to me. He's not some play toy I keep around for a week or two. He's going to be with me until the day one of us dies. I don't want to fuck this up, Lys. I love Cash, but I don't want it to be about lust and I know that's what it will become after the first time."

"Ashley, Jason and I have had sex multiple times. I can't even count. It's never about just lust between mates. Lust is what drives you to sex, but it's love that makes it meaningful. Those guys you toyed with were just guys. Cash is so much more." I softly nodded. "Why does he stop it?"

"Well, he's pretty much still a virgin for one. I'm not complaining. I also think he's picking up on how I feel. Cash feeds off of my confidence. I've lost my confidence."

"What are you so afraid of? I think it's more than just not enough intimacy."

"I'm scared of getting hurt!" I exclaimed. Lysandra's eyes widened, clearly shocked. "I've never stayed with one guy for this long. It was a new guy every week. I was raped, my father tried to kill me on multiple occasions, I was driving in the accident that killed my future sister in-law and my mother, my father went after my mate, my mate lost his memory, my mate nearly got his ass kicked for me, my mate was forced to cheat on me to protect my secret, and now we're going on a super romantic date. So much has happened and I'm scared of more."

"Listen to me, Ashley. All of those things, you got through with Cash. And, you're not thinking of the good things. You felt so guilty about the accident until you met Cash. You got over your player ways because of Cash. He gave you the motivation to take down your father and werewolves that hurt Cash. Cash risking his life brought you back together. He's planning this date so you can go to prom together. He adopted two adorable puppies with you. He's accepted your secret and even fully joined in on it. He's been there when you felt like shit or when you're pissed. He wants to be with you. He loves you too. Neither of you ever meant to hurt the other. But when you did, it worked out in the end. Tomorrow, if sex is about to happen, then let it go as far as you want. Don't stop it because you're scared. Keep going because you're ready to take the next step. I know you are, Ashley." I nodded, feeling confident with her words. I changed out of my dress. Lysandra and I just talked for the rest of the day. We got in some much needed catch up time.

That's part twenty nine! The next part will (hopefully) move your heart. It's the day the sexual tension between Cash and Ashlyn will be broken!

Peace.
Love.
Out.