Not Sorry- 15

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The moment I started gaining consciousness, I knew something was not right. Or was it? I could not gain my bearings even after I opened my eyes. My mind was muddled and I couldn't maintain a coherent thought. I would hear voices only to find that they were made of my own mumbles. I'd hear music only to find myself in a quiet darkness. I felt scared, and yet no sense of urgency to move. Gravity, I kept think. Gravity was stronger than usual. 

Before I realized it, I began to cry. I tried sitting up, but my body might as well have been made of stone. "Help!" I tried to cry out, but it only came out as a weak whimper. 

"She's up," a male voice said. 

"Help me! please!" I found myself repeating my pleading, my voice low and weak. 

I quieted down when I heard footsteps approach me, the lights blinding me as they switched on. 

"Relax, Emma. It's just me and Chris." Alex soothed. 

"I can't," I began, not knowing how to string my words into a coherent sentence. "I don't feel right, I don't. I don't! Why is it like this?" My panic started building up. I wasn't even sure what I was asking or trying to say half way through my sentence. 

"You're alright, Chris gave you something to get you to sleep." Alex explained. "You're basically high, to put it bluntly." 

"What? why?" I aske, confused. I knew I should have been angry, but I was too scared and confused to do so. 

"I needed to thoroughly check the damage inflicted. I cannot afford the chance of you dying on us because I failed to properly treat you." Chris said in a matter of fact kind of manner. 

I must have looked as confused as I felt, because Chris went on. 

"I needed to peel back your clothes to check your ribs, Emma. You were too scared to let me fully treat you." Chris didn't sound apologetic at all. 

"You're an asshole, you took my clothes off?" I started tearing up again, my throat hurting as I held back my sobs. 

"I did not take advantage of you, Emma. You have a broken rib, and you were too scared to even take care of the cuts you had reopened. I needed to make sure you weren't hiding any more cuts. You did have a knife with you from what I heard." Chris went on, his voice was steady yet sincere. I was still angry all the same, logic or no logic, he invaded my privacy. 

"How fucking dare you, you can't expect me to believe that's all you did" I said in disgust. I lost trust in others long before getting kidnapped, I wasn't about to believe his intentions were that pure. But Chris didn't seem moved at all by my accusation. 

"Well, I didn't do anything inappropriate, what needed to be done was for your own good." 

"Chris would not take advantage of anyone Emma." Alex said.

"You were there too?" I asked in anger and humiliation. 

"I didn't watch, I was cleaning, but I was close enough to have heard if anything went on."

I shook my head, "this doesn't change anything, you two are disgusting assholes!"

"Emma," Chris interrupted me. "I'm sorry that it had to have come to that. But I', not sorry for making sure you're not bleeding internally or have something broken." 

Seething, I tried to sit up again, my anger pushing away the heaviness that had me pinned down. I winced as I moved, sharp pain shot up through my ribcage with every movement. 

Alex stepped forward to help me up but I slapped he hand away from me. "Don't touch me!" 

Chris and Alex both looked down, and to my satisfaction I saw some shame seep into their eyes. 

" You have a broken rib, I'll bring you an ice pack to help with the pain." Chris said as he stood up from the foot of the bed I was laying on.

Alex who was standing beside the foot of the bed sat down where Chris was and stared at his hands in his lap. His expression was grim, as he seemed lost in thought. I tried being quiet as I moved into a more comfortable position. However, to my displeasure I couldn't stifle the groans of pain at each movement. By the time I settled into what I wish was a comfortable position, I was heaving shallow breaths, my pain skyrocketing from my movements. 

Alex only gave me a sidelong look, and for once his eyes were not so soft. They seemed to harden at me, but I didn't understand why. 

"What?" I asked when he didn't say anything. 

He shook his head after eyeing me up and down with his assessing gaze. "Nothing. I was just wondering." 

I sighed, not sure I wanted to know more. "You have to let me go." I said quietly.

Alex's frown deepened, "You know I can't make that decision." 

Tears of frustration welled up in my eyes, "Why?" 

"Because in some way, I'm just as stuck here with them as you are" Alex whispered. 

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Art by: Ko Byung Jun 

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