· twitter · bts ·

48

(y/n)

I sighed as I finally hit upload on my video, I then clicked off to twitter and created a tweet.

@sonyeonhoes

i just posted a new video explaining what has been going on in my life and how i have been and plans for the future.

8:43 am

I closed my MacBook and rubbed my eyes and checked the time ‘8:45 am’ I sighed. I didn’t sleep at all last night ‘Sorry Namjoon.’ I spent my night studying and editing videos. I don’t have college today, thank god. Classes were canceled. I got up from my desk and sat on my bed with my MacBook. I reopened it and pulled up youtube and watched a couple of my favorite youtubers until I fell asleep.

Jungkook

I waited impatiently as Jimin took his time coming to my room. Taehyung was already sitting with me in front of my laptop since he wanted to join us and see what she looked like.

    After a few more moments, Jimin came waltzing in. “Sorry hyung,” Jimin spoke as he sat between Tae and me. I felt my phone go off and saw that (y/n) made a tweet about posting a new video. I would’ve liked it if it wasn’t for the fact we didn’t want ARMYs knowing about our secret twitters. Most fans assumed we were just ARMYs like them.

    I placed my phone down and hit play on the video. It started out black for about 3 seconds until it faded and we saw (y/n)’s face. “Woah,” Tae said as soon as he saw her. I kept watching the video while she looked at the camera and waved slightly, which was cute.  “Hello, my beautiful fans. (y/n) here, I know I haven’t uploaded in a few months,” suddenly some text came on the screen and I read ‘Other than the Save Me cover I posted yesterday.’ I laughed slightly and continued watching.

    “I figured I should explain why I haven’t. As many of you know, I’m currently in college, I do graduate in a few months, thank fuck.” Jimin and Tae laughed at that and I remember she said pretty much the same thing in the group chat yesterday. “Lately, I have been really stressed from school, I haven’t been sleeping very well due to the amount of work that I have since exams are coming up. My health has become a second in my priorities and youtube has become third place. Right now I need to focus on my studies. I know I should take care of myself and my body, but when you’re struggling so much to keep your grades up so I don’t fail.” I starred at her through the screen, seeing the slight dark circles under her eyes. I sighed, knowing that I was probably going to yell at her later or the next time we talk in the group chat.

    “Not only that, life has been hard recently. Many of you also know that I have suffered from mental illness in the past, I did receive help and I got better, however, recently I’ve been having relapses of depression. I’ve felt really unmotivated the past couple weeks. I will be fine, I have friends who love me very much, my family is currently living in Gwangju however we still talk a lot.” I watched carefully, I’ve heard rumors of her having depression, however, I’ve only been a fan for about a year now. I never knew the rumors were true so this was a shock to me. ‘(Y/n)..You need to take care of yourself. You tweet us saying we need to be healthy, but so do you.’ I thought sadly as I glanced at the 95z who were carefully watching the screen.

    “As of now though, I have videos that will be coming up and I am feeling slightly more myself. I promise you guys that I am happy. I’m okay, I’m safe. I know there was that scare in the past when I lost control and ended up in the hospital, but that’s in the past. I’m gonna be focusing on the future. Speaking of the future, I already have a plan of what I’m going to do. When I graduate college, I’m planning on moving back to Korea, what I’ll do there will be unknown. Many tell me to become an idol for JYP Entertainment, however, I believe I don’t have what it takes. The idol life is hard, I know I’ve seen multiple people pass out on stage due to over-exhaustion,  It worries me. Yes, I’ve been told I can sing very well, I’ve been told I can even rap. I’ve been told I can dance well too, I just don’t see the point in trying though. I could give it a shot before I shut down the idea.” I stood shocked at what she had said, first she was moving back to Korea in only a few months, now she says that she may become an idol for JYP, we’d be able to see her at award shows. I felt a smile tugging at my lips, yet soon to frown because of the fact she is afraid of the dangers of being an idol. Sometimes its hard, however, its so much fun, bringing joy to your fans when you see them while you’re on stage. It’s exhilarating.