Yang x Reader

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Happily Never After

Volume/AU: N/A

Yang Xiao Long x Fem!Depressed!Reader

Warning(s): this oneshot does contain mentions of depression, eating disorders and self-deprecation. If this may be triggering for you, then feel free to skip this. I apologize in advance if anything is inaccurate as I cannot represent any mental illness as a whole with a single oneshot, but if you have any critiques on how I portrayed it then please let me know in the comments below how I can improve.

Requested By: @thewiseguy01

Reader's POV

Three hours. That's how long I had been laying motionless in my bed, with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. Nothing but my thoughts to consume me. I find myself beginning to think about what my beautiful blonde girlfriend is doing right now, but those thoughts turn into doubts. 'Is she really my girlfriend anymore?' is one that stands out the most.

I'm not crying. Nor am I smiling or fuming with rage.

In fact, I feel rather empty. Emotionless. As if somehow all the feelings that were once so strong had been sucked out of me like a vacuum.

This isn't a new occurrence, or even a foreign feeling — or, lack-thereof. It's simply been a long time since I've had an episode such as this, which caused it to feel so new. So fresh. When it began it was like greeting an old friend whom I hadn't seen in years.

But no one sees their mental illness as a friend, right?

Not unless you're like me and it seems like it's the only one left that will stay by your side. The only one that you know won't betray you.

The only one who will welcome you with open arms in your time of need.

"Old habits die hard I see" a voice spoke. I didn't have to so much as see her long golden hair or sharp amethyst eyes to know who it was.

My girlfriend,
Yang Xiao Long.

I said nothing in return, not seeing a point in it as I keep my eyes glued to the boring white ceiling above me.

"You have to eat you know? How about I take you down to the cafeteria to grab (a/some) (f/f)?" Ah, the voice again. This time I decided to reply with a quiet yet stern voice.

"I'm not hungry."

"Liar. You haven't eaten in days, you have to eat something or-"

"Or what? I'll die? I'll pass out? At least I'll die beautiful."

What I said was true. I really did feel that way. There was no point in lying anymore now that she's seen the real me. I could see her eyes widen in surprise though, and I resisted rolling my eyes, connecting the bumps on the ceiling into little pictures to pass time.

"Stop that right now! This isn't you (y/n)! What happened to make you so hopeless all of a sudden?!"

I flinched at her suddenly loud and booming voice that's volume rivaled thunder.

"Oh, but this is you, she just hasn't met this side of you before. Why don't you show her this part of you that she has been missing out on for oh so long my darling?"

"This is me, Yang. If you don't like it then why don't you break up with me already." My voice was so indifferent and emotionless it almost scared her.

Or was that heartbreak? I can't really tell the difference sometimes.

Tears prickled the corners of her eyes, and my mind became clouded with confusion. "Shouldn't she be happy? She's being given an escape from her relationship from me why would she be upset?"

Apparently my thoughts were spoken aloud in all my confusion and I mentally cursed for being so stupid as to do that.

"No! I'm not happy, (y/n)! I love you! I love you so much and I'm not going to leave you just because we got into a little argument or because you're going through a tough time! That just means that I'm going to fight for you even harder!"

Her words shocked me and suddenly I felt... something.

I couldn't quite describe it...happiness maybe?

No, no not that.

Relief?

Not that either..

Love?

... yes. I think that's what people call it.

When you feel so strongly for someone your heart is beating out of your chest and you think your cheeks look like tomatoes and you feel as if you're probably going to throw up from all the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

I didn't notice it, but a few tears had managed to escape my eyes and trickle down my dry and pale cheeks. Yang noticed this and gently wrapped her arms around my nearly skeleton-like figure.

"I love you too..." I manage to whisper before falling into a peaceful sleep, not once interrupted by a single nightmare or voice in my head.

I wasn't fixed.

This isn't a fairy tale.

But I'm at least willing to try.

And that's all that matters.

Right?

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