A/N: fuck I need to post more aldjskkssk
[Jaeden P.O.V]
I didn't want it to happen because I thought I would embarrass myself. But I did want it to happen because, oh god, I knew I would like it. I knew he felt the same.
I thought maybe I shouldn't audition for the play. I mean, I knew I had a high chance to get in because it's getting later in my high school career and hey, seniority. Even last year, younger me got an ok part. I had a good feeling I'd get in. I knew he would too...
But I shouldn't have. Oh my god, I shouldn't have. I didn't know he was going to audition. I knew the main characters were going to end up together, but I wasn't aware the play was adapted so the characters were genderless; anyone could get any part.
I knew I would participate in the play... I didn't know he would end up with me.
"You guys don't have to kiss if you're uncomfortable." Our drama teacher explained how we could cover the kiss with our hands or something, while all the other boys backstage giggled and chuckled at the fact that two guys were meant to kiss.
"If you don't want to you don't have to." Wyatt whispered in my ear, obviously feeling a little awkward as well.
There were two weeks until the first show. We were polishing scenes, transitions, etc. God damn I didn't want to kiss him. I knew I would blush, smile, freeze... I would do something that would make me embarrassed and that would be the end of my secrets.
Wyatt and I met in 9th grade. So after a few years of being good friends, and being boys in high school surrounded by tons of toxic fragile masculinity, it was gonna be awkward and we knew we'd probably get teased.
But I wasn't supposed to care because it was for the show.
Two days before performance day. The whole cast was in the theatre practising and still polishing. We were doing a run through, and we finally got to the scene with our kiss.
We went on stage before the drama teacher/director told us to remember to enter from stage right.
"Why did you bring me here?" Wyatt said his line.
"We're supposed to study stars right?" My character replied.
"The only star I'm seeing is right beside me..." He 'whispered' to himself.
"What?"
There was a pause. I looked into the wings and saw people dancing, whispering and some making stupid kissing faces at me. I tried not to laugh.
"I'm sorry..." said Wyatt's character. "I guess I should just tell you."
"Tell me what?"
"How I think I like you. How staring at stars will never compare to staring at you. How sitting here, in the middle of the night, "studying"," Wyatt put up air quotes. "I'm finally realizing how much more I want to do this. I want to stay here, with you."
There was another cinematic pause. Oh lord. I knew we had to kiss. I couldn't. But I wanted to. But I shouldn't. I knew I shouldn't. It would've been embarrassing. I wanted too, oh my god I wanted to.
I leaned in closer as he did. I completely broke character (and I knew it because I could hear people laughing at me), as I braced myself for connection. He leaned farther, before I panicked and started leaning backwards. If the drama teacher hadn't stopped us at this moment like she did, we probably would have fallen.
"Okay boys," she laughed. "Jaeden put your hand on Wyatt's cheek when you do this. It'll cover the 'kiss' (she used air quotations) and this won't be awkward for you okay?" She laughed again.
I fake laughed, "Okay."
For the rest of rehearsal me and Wyatt stayed on opposite sides of the stage.
________________
Performance day. Opening night. Everyone was excited. And don't get me wrong, so was I. But it all happened that night. I hated it. But I felt amazing.
Opening. High energy. Scene. Comedy. A bit of backstory. The pattern went on. Our characters met. Immediately fell in love. Classic love story, I guess. The show was extremely fun. And I was all there. But it went too fast, and that was how I realized I wasn't enjoying it in the moment. But part of me wanted to get it over with.
By the time mine and Wyatt's scene came around, I realized I was on the wrong side of the stage. I thought, "Oh shit. Oh shit shit shit. Where's Wyatt?!" I exited off the wrong side of the stage during the last scene. The back drop wasn't the kind you could just walk behind to cross the stage. The fuck was I gonna do, run?
As I contemplated what a dumbass I was being, I realized people were violently whispering at me and staring at me, so was Wyatt. But he was staring from the stage. "Oh shit!" I thought again.
I ran on the stage and heard laughs from the audience. Wyatt moved his microphone away from his mouth for a second.
"Kiss me, for real." He quickly whispered. I gave him a puzzled look before he blurted out his first lines.
"Why did you bring me here?"
Without lying, I was caught off guard.
"We're supposed to study stars right?" My voice cracked... loudly. I questioned why I was so nervous. More than I'd usually be for performances.
"The only star I'm seeing is right beside me..." He, for the millionth time these past few months of rehearsals, 'whispered'.
"What?" I breathed deeply.
"I'm sorry..." Wyatt smirked subtly. "I guess I should just tell you."
"Tell me w-what?" I didn't know what was wrong with me before I felt my heart beating out of my chest.
"How I think I like you." A sparkle in his eyes. "How staring at stars will never compare to staring at you." A tingle in my stomach. "How sitting here, in the middle of the night, 'studying'..." Those stupid air quotes. "I'm finally realizing how much more I want to do this. I want to stay here, with you." And finally, a stop of my heart.
He smiled in a way he never did during rehearsals. I didn't know what it was, but it felt like he was telling this to me.
I felt it. I felt my stomach flipping and flying. The surprise on my face made up for me not being in character. I mildly zoned out. But my character was supposed to be shocked. I didn't know what to do. I mean, I had already fucked up the scene. I walked in late, I broke character and honestly, I thought I missed lines. I wasn't there, mentally.
But I felt bad. It just happened. I mean he told me to. He told me to. I didn't even cover it. I leaned forward and kissed him. My character didn't kiss him, I did. I shouldn't have done it. But I did. I heard one or two gasps from the audience (or at least I think it was from the audience), then applause. I didn't even pull away when the lights went down.
All I heard was Wyatt's voice say "holy shit", quietly in the theatre speakers.
Stupidly, all I said to him was "I'm sorry" and ran off into the opposite wing to him.
The play ended with a strong finale and generous applause. There was more to come; an epilogue. But no, not to the play. To me, my life, and him. That wasn't the end.
Oh no no, it wasn't.
