*Drug warning*
"I just don't want to feel things." Stan thought to himself. It was all a game. Bullies at school, pressure from his father... He didn't want to play but he did. If he didn't, he'd have nothing to do.
Richie, one of Stan's friends (that annoyed him quite honestly), smoked in the schoolyard all the time; and took pills from bathroom cabinets and stole from the pharmacy with Beverly who likes taking cigarettes even when she had money. Money was green. Money wasn't a happy thing. It never was and never would be.
"It can be spent on something better." She would say.
Money must be a different shade of green, because money is just not happy.
Stan would get offered the substances but he'd always say no. It just wasn't his thing and he wasn't interested. But as time passed, the idea kept coming up. He kept playing the game of his life and although there was uncertainty each day, everything still made its way to a state of repetitiveness.
Stanley Uris didn't think it would be that bad.
"I'd only do it once in a while. Maybe once a month, not even that." Stan thought.
But school always tells you that the only way to avoid addiction is to avoid the drug all together... What was he to do?
Fuck it.
"Rich?" Stan started one day, when all 7 of their friends sat in a circle on the happy grass of the school field.
"Yeah, buddy?" Richie Tozier replied.
"Wanna pass me that, when you're uh, when you're done with it?" Stan asked, motioning towards the lighted cig Richie held between his fingers. All the losers looked at each other in confusion, but even so, let the event play out. Everyone stopped talking except Ben and Beverly who were too caught up in conversation.
"Well if you wait until I'm done with it there won't be anything for you." Richie laughed and passed the cigarette without a second thought.
"Th-thanks."
Stan took a nervous drag and coughed, never having done it before. Bill raised an eyebrow towards him while the others just watched. Stans coughing caught the attention of Ben and Beverly.
"Since when do you smoke, Stanley?" Eddie asked. The other Losers made sounds of agreement and curiosity.
Stan felt irritated. He couldn't fully understand it but it felt as it if didn't matter anymore if it hurt him. Why not mess up his lungs? Why not have cigarette-breath? Why not keep going until he couldn't breath? The grass seemed to lose its colour.
"Why does it matter..." Stan said quietly.
"What do you mean, why does it matter?" Beverly said, tuning better into the situation.
"It's a lot you know. Sitting here with you all, while you all seem to happy." Stan looked at the grass. Green is a happy colour, right?
"What are you talking about? Stan are you not happy?" Beverly asked, getting more concerned.
"N- No! No... I just.. I mean I love you guys. I just... hhh... I mean, come on, Henry and his friends are always after us, I feel like everything at school just keeps building up... some people are just assholes. Beverly, how may times has Greta made fun of you?"
Beverly only frowned and shrugged.
"You all know what I mean. And, personally my dad doesn't even seem to care about my well being at all... you know how life is... I get to be around you guys. But that seems like it."
The losers gave each other glances of concern and sympathy for their friend. They cared so deeply for him, even though they all liked to playfully tease each other all the time. Bill breathed deeply and grabbed Stan's hand. Stans heart skipped a beat for a moment as he looked at the intertwined hands then up to Bills face.
"Don't wo-worry," Bill said. "You'll always have us. We're not going anyw-where."
"Yeah and don't worry about Henry, we can take em!" Eddie said confidently. The group looked to him then to each other, giggling at their small-statured friend. "Richie can take them..." He continued, piping down.
"Anything for you, sweets." Richie winked at Eddie.
"Oh, shut up Richie." Eddie rolled his eyes.
Stan finally let out a laugh. He appreciated his friends so much it could sometimes feel like he'd burst. Life was tough, but the good feelings he got when he was with these people could make him feel euphoric.
Stans hand still sat in Bills, but suddenly his other hand was being grasped as well. He looked up to see Ben smiling at him with a soft and caring gaze that can always make anyone feel like they're going to be okay.
Ben held Beverlys hand, while she held Mike's, and the chain continued with Richie, Eddie and Bill, until it rounded back to Stan.
"We're all such losers." Richie mocked.
"Exactly, b-but we're Losers together." Bill replied.
"Losers together..." Stan repeated, turning to face his stuttering friend. Sitting in the green grass, green was a happy colour. It sure was. They all knew there was nothing that could take them away from each other. Ever.
Absolutely, totally, nothing at all.
