This Isn't Love

Chapter 3- Toliet

I couldn't keep up. I tried so fucking hard and did everything I could to get to their pace. "Jin are you okay?" Hobi asks and I just nod "of course just a little tired" I say and let out a light hearted chuckle. "You sure because I've noticed on some of the dance moves you seem in pain" my eyes flick to Namjoon quickly but I just give Hobi a reassuring smile. "I'm fine I'm fine. Don't baby your mother" I say and then whack the back of his head lightly. He laughs and I get a few more concerning looks from Yoongi and Jimin but shake it off.

We start up again and I mess up on the footing and it causes me to fall to the ground with a loud thud. I was that fat. "Fuck Jin!" Yoongi says and comes over trying to help me up but I just swat his hand away "ah I'm fine" I say and get up only to fall back down when I get light headed. "Here you guys continue I'll take him home." Namjoon says and I already knew this was bad. He helps me up and we go out the practice room. "You are in so much fucking trouble" he says through gritted teeth and tightens his grip on my arm.

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"It's been 4 days Namjoon I'm starving!!! I'm going to die!!!" I yell and he grabs my neck and pushes me against the wall. "Don't you dare yell at me you fat worthless pig. Your just lucky I don't make you stick your fingers down your throat when you have ate nothing and make you continue until you do throw something up. Or do you want that? This is your punishment you will learn to behave" he lets go of my throat and I gasp choking slightly on the incoming air. "So fucking pathetic" he grabs onto my hair roughly and I let out a whimper of pain.

He drags me into the bathroom throwing me down on the ground and I bang my head on the wall. "Since you want to be such a smart ass why don't you start talking now. Don't be a bitch" he kneels down and grabs my hair banging my head back against the wall. "Complaining about 4 days like the little shit you are. You know the most pathetic part, is that Jimin can last 10 days. Isn't that sad? Knowing he's better than you, he would probably satisfy me more than you do too." He lets out a rough laugh and I just sit there shaking. "Now fingers down your throat. You deserved this" he lets go of his hold on my hair and I immediately slide down the wall more.

I get infront of the toliet knowing this was going to be a horrible experience. "Prove to me your not a weak ass bitch." He says and I slowly put my fingers down my throat and press on the very back. It comes out as a gag and nothing more. I continue but every single time it comes out as nothing but foamy saliva. This can't be good. I do it one more time and the color that flows down my fingers into the toliet scared me to death.

Blood red.

"Stop. You can stop." He says and I start shaking violently. I actually just threw up blood. Oh my god. I start crying and bring my shaky hands to my face. Even the one with streaks of blood running down it. Namjoon takes that hand and starts to clean it. He then sits back down and wraps his arms around me. "Ssh its okay, its okay baby. I'm not gonna let anything hurt you" I continue to let out little sobs and wrap my arms around his neck clinging onto him. The metallic like taste never seems to go away and I can't help but be terrified.

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He had gotten me all cleaned up and to calm me down he would leave soft kisses on my face and head. Was he being so nice because he realized that he was capable of killing me? Or was it the fact that he actually cared about me? I know he loves me. He tells me how much I mean to him, and that every hit was a mistake. So I couldn't stay mad at him.

He hurts me cause he loves me.

I hear the front door open and decided that laying down seemed like the best option. I mean my body did just have to go through hell. On top of that I felt like I could fall and break at any moment. "N Namjoon can i sleep? Please" "of course beautiful I love you" he says and gives me a soft kiss. "I love you too"

He loves me.