This Isn't Love

Chapter 6- Safe And Sound

I sit up and wipe my eyes quickly. "Ah you scared me Jungkook" I say and he frowns lightly. "Why were you crying Jinnie?" He comes over and I pull him onto my lap "it's nothing baby doll, I'm just a little tired is all" he starts to play with my hoodie strings as he lays his head on my shoulder. I could almost coo at how cute he looked right now. "Then why don't you sleep?" He asks and moves his head sideways in confusion "I will right after I get some cleaning done. We don't want the apartment to be too messy" I say and poke his stomach lightly to which he giggles at.

"But hyungie I need a cuddle buddy" I give him a small smile and he looks up at me hopefully. "Okay Jungkookie anyways we have a lot of practice today and I want you to be well rested." He gives me his adorable bunny smile and bounces lightly on my lap, which kinda hurt but I would never tell him that. "I don't wanna walk" he says and I just sigh "okay baby I'll carry you" he wraps his arms around me and I stand up putting an arm under his butt and my other arm around his waist.

I carry him to his room and was relieved the door was already open. I lay him on the bed softly and pull the covers over him making sure he was comfortable. He makes grabby hands for me and I climb in next to him. He snuggles up next to me and I wrap a protective arm around him. "Could you sing to me Hyung?" He asks and nuzzles his head into my neck. I start to rub his back and see he had already closed his eyes.

"Hush now my darling
Close your eyes and sleep
Waltzing the waves
Diving the deep
Stars are shining bright
The wind is on the rise
Whispering words
Of long lost lullabies."

I smile as I see he had fallen asleep and scoot back a little to kiss his head. I found there was no point in trying to leave because Jungkook was tightly wrapped around me. I silently coo at how his cheeks puffed up some when he slept and it made him really look like a bunny. I don't care how old he gets, he'll still always be the nervous 15 year old baby who just started in this world.

I remember how much of a nervous wreck he was,  I mean I would be too if I had to live with 6 people who were a decent amount older than me. Yes Jimin and Taehyung were 17 but still that would be very unnatural for him. On top of that he probably just learned the words stranger danger which didn't help. But you can only imagine how happy I felt when he started calling me Eomma. He had even said that when he was away from his real mom he saw that I filled that missing role at times. Doing things like cleaning, cooking, showing motherly love, and giving cute nicknames.

Interestingly enough though he had also developed a little crush, because I had played such a big role in his life. A crush on your mother, I know that's different. I had let him down easy and it didn't take long for us to mend things back into a more appropriate relationship. Not even that long ago he had remembered and begged me not to tell anyone, which I nicely accepted.

But then there were the things in life I wished jungkook wouldn't have gone through. Like the time he saw Jimin's starvation diet affective or how he overworked himself because Hoseok had done it and became the lead dancer. Maybe even the time Yoongi fell into an awful depression that hurt Jungkook horribly. Jungkook is still young and he learns from the things we do even if we don't tell him too. 

I've already lost 2 of my babies to the black hole of depression and I'd never want that for little Jungkookie. He was way to precious to be put in the hands of something dark and evil. I smoothly run my fingers through his hair knowing it will help him sleep better.

Jungkook may be 10x's stronger than all of us but he is still a child at heart. He likes to be played with and cared for, he may seem bigger but he can seem just as small. Like the times when he enjoys hugs and kisses which he is always showered in. He is truly the biggest baby.

I hear the door open and close my eyes hugging Jungkook close. "Jin?" I notice it's Namjoon's voice and shut my eyes tight and pull Jungkook even closer. Don't hurt him. Don't hurt him. Don't hurt Jungkook. Then the door closes and I had never felt so relieved. He's okay. I kiss Jungkook's head and decide that I should probably get some rest since I really didn't get any.

So I close my restless eyes feeling happy that I had my young baby safe in my arms. Away from the troubles of the world and Namjoon's heartbreaking hits. Now I could finally be in peace in a way I never had. One that could make me actually close my eyes and drift off to a dreamless sleep.