This Isn't Love

Chapter 42: Won't Last

-Authors POV-

The dim lights of the hospital waiting room provided a depressing feel to the area as Namjoon walked in Bang pd not far behind. Everyone was there holding their breaths as they waited to see if their Hyung was going to be okay or not. Jin had gotten up without Jungkook noticing early that morning and went into the bathroom guzzling down Yoongi's depression medication. When the others found him he was lying on the ground not moving as foam was already bubbling from his mouth. It was a horrific sight as Jimin was the first one to see it and screamed as loudly as possible waking up every one in the house.

"You did this!!! You made him do this!!!" Jungkook yells out ready to punch Namjoon as hard as possible but Hoseok and Taehyung quickly pull him back before he can even reach him. "You know I have half the sense to let him punch you with the way you put your hands on my Jimin. You don't belong here for what you did to him and Jin, you should be locked away!"

"Everyone stop your causing a scene infront of every one here." Bang pd warns and Jimin looks around softly to find a girl recording and wants to smack her for being so disrespectful. He looks up at Namjoon memories flooding into his mind and he lets out a little whimper that does not go unnoticed by Taehyung. "Sit down, all of you" they all take their seats and Taehyung grips Jimin's hand in comfort to stop his shaking.

Jungkook could still remember it, Jin had woke up in the night needing water and he had been all too ready to help him. There was a lost look in Jins eyes that Jungkook couldn't pinpoint but he didn't like it. Jin had stayed up a little longer to tell Jungkook what he had been feeling, the overwhelming feeling of desperation. Jungkook listened tentatively giving reassuring smiles and Jin confided his darkest secrets to the younger.

Then like a new wave of feelings they leaned in slowly, Jungkook putting his hand delicately on the back of Jins head. They seemed only an inch apart but it felt like galaxies away, as their breath mingled. It was pure and beautiful when their lips finally connected and Jins past pain washed away almost comically. It was soft with so much hidden passion as their fingers intertwined on the bed and Jin wanted to cry at how good it all felt.

It was a small kiss, something of beauty really. When they separated, their heads lay against each other, Jungkook would lean back in giving small kisses of love. They had both been feeling it, feeling the longing of the others body and it felt so right to be so close.

"You know the shit we had to go through the days after everyone found out? He'd disappear for a while and come back always smelling like smoke, he hated every inch of himself because you left him like that. You left him feeling like he would never be good enough and no matter how hard we tried we couldn't convince him he was worth everything. He needed your approval, he needed your words, and you should lay down now every night realizing that your the one who killed him." Jimin says his words like daggers not being able to ignore the nagging thoughts eating his mind. Namjoon the man Jimin saw as a brother, had been hurting his closest friend, and raped him leaving him broken and confused.

Namjoon left him lying on that bed, skin feeling dirty and body aching in pain. Taehyung puts a steady hand to his mouth to stop himself from lashing out at Namjoon. Jimin was Kim Taehyungs and nobody else's, so for Namjoon to cause so much pain to the man he loved, and his brother was enough to make him see red. "Jimin ah I'm sor-" "don't you dare say your sorry, don't you dare when you defiled him the way you did. Especially while Jin is in there fighting for his life because of what you did."

Taehyungs voice had a finality to it that made the whole room fall silent, as Namjoon soaked up the words he had received. He was the one who hurt Jin, he was the one who made Jin want to kill himself, so why should anyone feel guilty that he looked frightened by Taehyungs words?

The room falls into a soft silence the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. That was until a brown headed nurse came in with a look of sadness and the members could barely look at her without wanting to break out in tears. "So we got him awake, but he isn't going to last through the night, I am so sorry."

Everyone couldn't hold it back anymore and the tears came quickly. Jimin was the first to break gripping onto Taehyung as close as possible as the sobs left his mouth. Jin wasn't going to make it, no more late night talks of life, no more motherly snaps, and no more early morning movies. It was all going to be over and Jimin didn't know how to handle it, he couldn't breathe. "Jimin baby you gotta calm down" Taehyung says trying to comfort the other when he could barely contain his own tears.

"Now we don't want to overwhelm him, so one person at a time please" the room goes silent not knowing what to do, "Namjoon should go first" the room looks at Yoongi in shock and he frowns slightly. "Jin wants Namjoon's approval in a way, and if he doesn't get it he will pass away unhappy. He needs to see him." Bang pd nods and looks over at him "Jungkook go with him, I don't want him solely alone with Jin." Jungkook looks up nodding while wiping his eyes as they fill with a new wave of tears.

They both get up and are led down the hallway by the nurse. It felt so odd and so wrong that they went together, as Jin's heart was in both of their hands. "Here is his room, now don't do anything that will raise his heart rate. If that monitor starts beeping or makes a long beep hit the emergency button immediately." Jungkook and Namjoon go in, Jungkook deciding it would be best to stay by the door while they talked.

What he wasn't expecting was the way his naturally beautiful Hyung looked. He looked sick, his skin a deathly pale and tubes connecting every which way, it was a horrid sight. "Hey Jin," Namjoon says and Jin immediately sits up properly "N-Namjoon?" Namjoon hugs him softly taking the fragile boy into his arms and he could feel what he had done. He had succeeded, Jin was nothing more than a bag of bones. He could feel the bones breaking from the skin, and it was awful, it felt awful.

"I t-thought I'd never s-see you a-again." Namjoon separates from him and brushes the hair out of his eyes gently "I'm so sorry." Jin just shakes his head wincing and smiles "no, n-no it was my f-fault it's o-okay" Namjoon gives a small smile back and holds his hands "hey, it was never your fault. You were so good to me Jin so amazingly good, it's not your fault. I, I have something wrong with me, and I was hurting you and being the worst thing I could become, you are a perfect angel. Don't blame yourself, please."

Jin bursts out in tears pulling Namjoon as close as his body would let him. "Thank you, t-thank you..." His voice was barely above a whisper but Namjoon could hear it and guilt ran through his body at all the pain he had made him go through.

---

They held a conversation for a bit Namjoon trying his hardest to make Jin realize nothing was his fault. He wished he would have said something sooner, before Jin had hurt himself like this. "I have to go but I love you okay?" Jin smiles and nods passing Jungkook and back out into the hallway. When Jungkook sees him out of sight he runs over to Jins bed and plants a soft kiss on his lips. "Never ever do something like this again, I can't lose you," he says and Jin puts a hand to his cheek looking into Jungkooks big brown doe eyes.

He brings him back into another kiss body relaxing at Jungkooks touch. Words weren't needed for Jin to express his feelings as Jungkook could read him like a book any day. "I'm so sorry Jungkook, I just c-couldn't take it anymore." Jungkook nods in understanding "you can beat this okay? You've got this" Jin shakes his head and grabs Jungkooks hand to play with his fingers "I'm not g-going to, I can t-tell. Dont leave m-me alone here t-tonight." "I won't I promise, I won't."

"I l-love you Jungkook ah" Jin smiles gently giving him another passionate kiss and Jungkook gives small pecks back, "I love you too Hyung."