Doin' Dirt ~ Ziam

Chapter 15

When Zayn returned after work, Liam was sitting at the table. Zayn had left him a packet of cigarettes, and he was smoking one of them with Niall's letter in his hand. "Officer Styles told me you were a carpenter." Liam smiled, nodding towards the faint layer of dust on Zayn's uniform.

"Still am." Zayn brushed at his trouser legs. "The governor and the administrators use me shamelessly, right under the eye of God, a master carpenter's free labor. And they know I wont botch it up jut to spite them. 'Cause I take too much infernal pride in my work. Once the world learns the source of your pride, it owns you."

"And I would say the source of your shame." Liam added in.

"Ah, well, that too." Pulling out the little table's chair, Zayn turned it around and straddled it. As if by magic, A unlit cigarette appeared in his hand. "Liam, whatever news that letter brought you. I'm damned sorry for it."

Liam stared into Zayn's hazel eyes. The proud jawline complimented by the strong cheekbones, his firm chin and the smooth skin which stretched over his forehead - he was utterly masculine, hard as granite, except from those eyes. One moment his eyes could be hard like a great predator, a cheetah or a lion. Then Zayn's eyes could be so soulful, hypnotic, beautiful.

Liam laughed. The sound was nothing like his usual one. Was the old Liam Payne gone for good? Had his earlier outpouring of grief been the death knell?

Zayn seemed unoffended by the laughter. "I know, 'tis useless to go round saying sorry for things we have nothing to do with, nor any power to heal, but-" He broke off, transparently startled when Liam struck a match and lit his cigarette for him. "Why, thank you."

"I wasn't laughing because you said sorry about the letter, that was decent. Polite." Taking a drag off his cigarette, Liam blew the smoke from his nostrils. "I was laughing because you had the decency to say sorry about the letter that toy have never read, but not for what you did in the showers."

Zayn stared back silently for so long, Liam began to wonder if that was the wrong thing to say and Zayn wouldn't respond in words. He was waiting for Zayn to leap to his feet, overturn the table, curse, rage, and then go back to the silent treatment. But Liam didn't shrink away. Although it was merely hours ago that he was a sobbing mess and had nothing but Zayn for comfort. Part of him welcomed the Zayn's rage.

At last, Zayn put the burning fag to his lips and inhaled. "If I could take it back, I would."

Pointing with his own cigarette, Liam leaned across the table, stabbing the lit end mere centimeters away from the lads nose. "Not an apology." 

"You wouldn't accept it anyway."

"You don't get to say what I'll do with it!" Liam cried, on his feet all in one motion. "The other night you - we almost -"

With a cigarette held between his teeth, Zayn was also on his feet, catching Liam's arm and overpowering him with ease. "Quiet." He said, forcing Liam back into his chair. "Say your part, but say it low, unless you want us both to be birched for fighting."

"Everyone who should have stood by me turned away!" Liam said fiercely, trembling all over. "I wanted Niall to join them, I asked for it, I expected it. The only thing left that doesn't make sense is you." Liam glared up to Zayn's face. "I hate you! Let them kill me! I don't want your protection!" With a swift movement, Liam threw the bummed out cigarette on to the floor and stamped on it, wishing everything could be stamped on so easily.

"Liam -"

"No more! I don't want this. I'm done with you, let them kill me, or kill me yourself!" Liam cried throwing himself back on to his bunk, covering his face. For a long time, Liam felt like he was almost suffocating in the silence. Liam regretted his words but he would never take them back. Then, Liam heard Zayn's footsteps departing as the other man headed for the lunch halls, and supper.