When Forth was asked by his girlfriend who was lying on the hospital bed to take care of her baby, he was reluctant. But he agreed, nonetheless. So when his girlfriend passed away, he was left to take care of the baby alone. As his own.
And let's sa...
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Calm reigned inside Forth's apartment. It was already late when they sat down for the simple lunch Forth prepared. Beam was pleasantly surprised by the improvement in Forth's cooking skills and remarked on it at once. Forth accepted his compliment gladly because he knew he tried to cook as often as he could despite his busy schedule.
Beam gave him a brief check up and his fever had surprisingly gone down, quicker than he expected. However, he insisted on Forth continuing with his medication to make sure the fever's completely gone.
Both of them settled down on the couch to watch television, but Beam fell asleep almost immediately with his head on the other's laps. Forth, watching a historical documentary, muted the sound so as not to disturb the former.
Forth was not sure when exactly, but he also dozed off. Possibly drowsiness from the paracetamol he took finally kicked in. Or maybe it's just the boredom from watching a documentary. He was not sure which.
It felt like he had just shut his eyes when he was roused from his sleep by sounds of distress from Beam.
The medical student was still asleep but was apparently in the grips of a nightmare as he was whimpering and crying. This made Forth fully alert and shook off any lingering sleepiness.
"Beam?" Forth raked his fingers through Beam's hair, hoping to wake him up from his nightmares.
But Beam didn't wake up, instead, he started to thrash his arms and legs about. Forth immediately shook him by his shoulders, hard. "Beam?!"
Beam quickly opened his eyes, looking around the room with panic in his eyes as he sat up. He turned his back to a visibly worried Forth.
"Beam?" Forth called out, moving to face Beam.
The shorter guy was quiet. His eyes revealed a turmoil of feelings inside him, which were not displayed by his facial expressions. It made Forth grew even more worried, if that was even possible for him to be. "Beam,"
Beam did not acknowledge any of his calls. Instead, his tears pooled a few seconds later as he continued to stare, wordlessly into space. Such a situation was not new to Forth, as Beam often got lost in his thoughts more often than not.
But the crying was a new development.
Because Beam was always smiling, maybe wanting to appear strong and happy. Forth didn't use to notice before how Beam's smiles never reach his eyes. But over the course of the few meetings they had, he had become more observant. There were times when Beam was genuinely smiling. On those rare occasions Forth used to think, thank god he can still be happy and was not faking it all the time.
But most of the time, his smiles were simply a stretching of his lips, not even reflected in his eyes.
And Forth became curious about the kind of past Beam had.
What kind of past made this medical student seemingly lose hope over his own life? Because everyone deserves chances to make their lives better, right?
Is it about that guy, the other day?
Forth sighed lightly, he was frustrated at himself. He could take care of many of his juniors, even seniors. But was not able to take care of his own friend. Forth believed they were friends at least. Beam had been a great help in his efforts to adjust with baby Davin.
If only Forth dared to ask. That would be easier, right? Beam could confide to him about his problems and then he could try to make it all better. It would help, right?
But then... if even mere flashes from, probably, his past could make him this distressed. Asking him would only make him more upset, right?
Another dead end. Forth stared into those lost eyes, wondering what's hidden behind that swirl of emotions. Forth reached out and held both of Beam's hands gently.
"Beam," Forth called again, softly this time. Beam blinked once, making the tears slid down his pale cheeks.
The smaller guy then focused on Forth and finally hummed quietly. His eyes void of emotions, like his facial expression. His whole body was tense. Forth was used to ignoring changes in people's expressions and body language. The engineering student was always told to be more strict and serious, so he could be the head hazer.
But now, it was different. He was too aware. This was a surprise to him. "Forth?"
Forth sighed as he wiped the tears away.
"You make me worried again, Beam." Beam tilted his head. "How?"
Forth forced out a smile. "When you give this kind of smile, and when you cry."
Beam stayed silent as he observed the smile on Forth's lips.
"And I can't do anything to make you feel better. I don't even know why you are like this." Forth whispered. He watched every move of Beam. Every single one.
As if they could provide him with clues as to what he was curious about.
"Will you let me help you, Beam?"
Silence fell on both of them, yet again. All they did was watch each other.
Beam finally looked up straight into Forth's eyes and asked, "Have you ever fallen for someone, Forth? At the wrong time and situation?"
Forth blinked. He pondered for a while before he finally nodded.
He did.
"Did you ever feel regret about it?" Beam asked again. This time, his voice wavered.
"Like blaming myself for falling?" Beam nodded. But Forth shook his head firmly.
Beam's tears fell again. "Why?"
Forth smiled, genuinely this time. "Because love is a beautiful feeling. You cannot help who you fall for or when to fall in love."
"Were you ever blamed for such love?" This time Forth stayed silent. He never faced that problem.
Sure, people close to him were against it, but they ended up supporting him in the end. Whatever it was. Be it his apartment, his choice of university and course, or who he fell for. They supported him until the end.
To be honest, Forth would not be able to go on up to this day if it hadn't been for the support from his close people. He simply would not last this long. Beam faked that smile again, unknowingly breaking Forth's heart in the process. And his tears started again as soon as he pasted it on.
"I was, Forth. Everyone blamed me for that. No one who knew about it was on my side." Beam whispered. What Beam said next broke Forth heart even more. "Not even me."
[ proofread by @patriciathawmte ]
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Finally here!
Hello, I'm back! Somehow I got a bit of inspiration during my classes, so here it is.🤭
Next chapter will be about another peek of Beam's past, way before the chaos started. A simple one, because I am never good at flashbacks. Trust me. 😂
But it should be enough to understand on what base does Beam think. Hopefully.😅
You can ask me if you don't get it though. Hopefully, I could explain it to you.😣
