Baby, Baby?

JM

Two weeks turned to three and slowly escalated to a month then two months. And now, it's almost three months of not meeting Forth. Beam saw Forth around sometimes, he could only see his back as the head hazer hurried from his lunch, looking slightly messy.

It was so unlike Forth Jaturapoom who likes to be presentable, at least.

Beam tried to follow the guy again like he did in the past. But it's either he cancelled the plan after hesitating for so long, or he lost sight of Forth because that guy literally raced his way to wherever he needed to go.

Is the hazer team that busy? But it's nearly semester break though.

Beam silently moped inside the university's library. He couldn't even bring himself to have lunch with Phana and Kit anymore. The previous month was the last.

Phana and Kit were both dating already. Apparently, Kit was courted by Ming since the beginning of the semester, but Beam was oblivious about that development.

It was not that he wasn't happy for his best friends. But looking at the contrast between his own life and Phana and Kit's lives, was a little hard on him.

How come happiness never really stayed with Beam?

He even pretended he was busy with his studies since his test results were so bad. But here he was, at the cubicle in one of the hidden corners of the room, sighing heavily every now and then. His books were still inside his bag.

He never studied well in this kind of quiet environment. It made him sleepy. And he forgot his earphones.

That is just a pathetic excuse, Baramee.

Beam grumbled lowly. "Why is my life so complicated?"

He kind of missed Forth.

There, he admitted that. Now what? He doesn't even make an effort to see you anymore.

Beam lightly traced the surface of the table with his long skinny fingers.

"What happens to your here to stay?" Beam asked softly to no one in particular.

He knew Forth would not be here, he never saw him. Forth always ate lunch with his friends.

"Well, except that one week he disappeared because I was there..." Beam sighed again.

His sight got blurry, giving him a distorted view of everything. He immediately looked down out of habit.

Everyone hates me eventually.

A teardrop fell with that thought. Beam blinked his eyes rapidly as he bit his lower lip to still the sobs that were fighting to be let out.

Beam was glad he chose the hidden corner to study. Because no one would be there, especially during lunch hours.

And for the nth time since Forth left him, his chest felt so stuffed and heavy.

It hurts.

Another set of tears streaked down his cheeks before dropping onto his pants, creating a small darken area on the fabric. Teardrops followed after teardrops, it seemed like Beam Baramee could not stop crying.

Why can't I be loved too?

Beam laid his head on top of the table, slowly closing his eyes. He was tired, he was exhausted.

If life is this hard, why doesn't it just stop?

And seconds later, he fell asleep as his exhaustion from a mental breakdown just overwhelmed him. Unknown to him, there was someone watching him in between the book shelves.

Beam woke up from his sleep thirty minutes later, his class was to start in another thirty minutes. Sighing again, Beam straightened his posture. He groaned slightly because of the stiffness on his shoulders before he noticed something.

There was a bottle of cultured milk, and a pack of chocolate chips biscuits on his table.

What is this?

Stuck on the bottled drink was a post-it note. A neat handwriting was scribbled on it.

Have the biscuits and milk before your class.
Please take care of yourself and eat on time next time. Don't skip your meals again.
P.s.: I suggest eating this when you're already out of the library.

- JM

"Who is this JM?" Beam asked to no one, raising his eyebrows as he did so.

He was surprised someone actually noticed he was here, or was even here during lunch.

There were not many books on the shelves nearby, only having references of subjects on digital signals and motor control. The kind of subjects that most students who spent their time in the library didn't normally consult.

Those books are for engineering students, but most of them often opted for more convenient sources aka internet. They rarely visit the library. When they can do that in the comfort of their rooms, their university already having an online library.

Most medical students like Beam however, preferred the hands-on books. It's easier to understand and memorize anyway.

"Was this JM from engineering?" Beam wondered.

Even the word engineering could shake his heart with tingling inside his stomach. He decided not question anymore.

"It might be because this person heard me crying..." Beam assured himself.

Yeah, it must be.

A few days later, another post-it note appeared. That same neat handwriting was on it.

You still skip your meals?
You might fall sick soon if you keep doing that.

-JM

Beam slightly frowned. He took the bottled drinking water, but scribbled on the note before he stuck it on the surface of the table.

You're here during lunch too. So you're skipping lunch too.

Beam then packed his things and made his way out of the library.

[ proofread by @patriciathawmte ]

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Another short update.

I want to ask you guys a question.

Which one is better for you?
Shorter(around 500-800 words) but frequent updates or longer(1k-1.5k words) but will only be published during weekends?

For frequent updates, I will try to update every day that I find my schedule is not too full(aka me typing it whenever I'm free in between classes).

For weekend update, sometimes I will post 2 updates, but if that week I'm too busy to actually write that much, I will try to post 1 along the week. Again, I just want to know which one you prefer more.

Thank you for the reads, comments and votes. I've read all of the comments but for now, I will focus more on the plot holes I created. Don't worry, hopefully all will be revealed soon(ahem, you just created another whole mess of JM).

Until next update,
Have a nice day ahead.