Shaded ✔️

CHAPTER 8

I forced my eyes away from him and barrelled through the doors to the yard, lighting a cigarette. I knew he would follow me out. Despite the excitement in my stomach, I was pissed. I didn't ask for much from the club. 4 days of peace away from it was all I wanted, and I couldn't even get that. I slammed my fist into the wall, feeling the skin on my knuckles crack and I knew that the bruises that were already there would just get darker. I took a long drag, trying to calm myself down.

"Well isn't it fancy meeting you here, darlin'." I could hear the smirk in his voice without looking at him. My vision flashed with red.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Did Val send you?" I opened the bottle of Jack and took a long sip, waiting for him to answer.

"Actually, no. I have some friends here, they invited me up for the party. I had no idea you would be here. I guess you could call that fate." I rolled my eyes, putting out my cigarette.  I tried to ignore the way his eyes roamed my body, and how good he looked covered in moonlight.  Instead I forced myself to remember why I came here, and who I was trying to stay away from.  

"Just stay the fuck away from me Jax, I mean it." I shoved by him, not waiting for a response. I was heading back to the bar when Ace grabbed me, pulling me into him. I saw the glassed over look in his eyes and I knew he was on something stronger than alcohol.  I pushed him away, shaking my head.  

"I thought you were done with that shit Ace." My voice came out harsh. A guilty look crossed his features.

"I'm sorry Scar. You know how it is with them. I didn't want to cause more shit by saying no." I gave him a tight nod.

"I'm going for a drink." I pushed by him. This night was already turning to shit and I wasn't even drunk yet. When I got to the bar a bunch of guys from the club were there doing shots. I invited myself in and before I knew it I was 3 shots deep, arm in arm with a big burly man whose name was Buddy, singing our own rendition of Shook Me All Night Long by ACDC. Just as I went to take another shot, it was snatched up by a familiar hand.

"Should've known I would find you here, Scar." There was humor in his deep voice. He downed my shot and I narrowed my eyes.

"Domenico. I can't say I'm happy to see you." My speech was slurred and my eyes were having trouble focusing on the man in front of me. He looked like an older version of Ace with his tanned skin and dark hair. The only difference was their eyes, where Ace's eyes were the lightest shade of blue, Dom's were almost black.

"You haven't seen me in months and that's the first thing you're going to say to me?" he chuckled. His hair was longer than I remembered, and he had more ink covering his body. He was only 2 years older than Ace, but the differences between them were like night and day. Ace was light, Dom was dark. He pulled me in to him and I could feel the warmth from his body seep into mine.

"I know you've missed me Scar, don't lie." He wore a confident smirk that I had the urge to slap off his face. If I was being honest, I rarely thought about Dom. Sure he was attractive, no one could deny that, but he was everything I was trying to stay away from. Whenever we saw each other, we flirted, but nothing more. I wouldn't do that to Ace, or myself.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dom." I said with a smirk, holding up 2 shots.

"Oh I get it, still pining after my baby brother I see. You know he's not what you really want Scarlett." I paused, a look of shock and confusion crossing my features. He laughed.

"You could make it a little less obvious. I see how you are with him. He's everything you think you need to get away from this." He leaned into me, his lips at my ear. I downed my shot.

"But I'm what you really want, right? The life, the danger. I know you secretly love it. But you're still the same scared little Scarlett that you always have been. Too afraid to admit what you want, leading my brother on, letting him believe that one day you'll come around." He chuckled darkly. My fists clenched at my sides.

"I know you better than you know yourself, and I barely know you. Because you're the same as all these other girls in here. You crave the danger, but you're scared." My body was shaking with anger. My vision flashed with red. I knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to bait me. He knew that there was nothing I hated more than being called scared, than being compared to the girls who were only in it so they could become someone's old lady. I earned my spot in the club, with or without a patch or a cut. I did more for my club than half the prospects, hell I even served time for it. Maybe I would never ride with the brother's, or be patched in, or have my own cut, but my role in the club was more than being someone's old lady. He knew that.

But I wouldn't give him that satisfaction. I downed his untouched shot, letting a dark smirk take over my features.

"Well at least you're right about one thing."

"And what's that?"

"You don't know me. And you'll never get the chance." He leaned into me, his hands on my waist, his lips brushing my ear.

"Prove me wrong, Scarlett. Show me that you're not that same scared, broken little girl who came here after her brother died. Show me that I'm wrong." He knew all the right things to say. I knew he was manipulating me.

And I let him.

I let the alcohol take over my brain, pulling away from him just enough so that I could crash my lips to his. His lips were rough, his hands gripped my face, his body pressed against mine. My hands were tangled in his hair. I ignored the warning signs going off in my brain. It felt nice to be close to someone, but other than that it just felt like the beginning of another one night stand. I smiled against his lips because I knew he believed that he had won, that he had gotten through to me. But all I felt were his hands on my body, his lips on mine.

Otherwise, I was numb. I thought about what he said. He was right, I did secretly crave the danger, but not for the reasons he thought. Because the danger of this life was the only thing here for me now. It was the only thing left to distract me from my reality. No matter how much I loved the club or Val or the brothers, I knew there was nothing left for me here. I would probably die the same way my brother did. But without the danger of this life keeping me on edge, distracting me from all the shit I was running from, I could leave easily. But that meant leaving the place my brother raised me, the place that held all our memories, the place he was buried. That would mean moving away, and fully moving on. That would mean forgetting this place, and maybe even forgetting him. I wasn't ready to face that yet. I wasn't ready to face all the shit I had pushed down, all the feelings I had pushed away by drinking until I blacked out.

So I let him pull me away, taking my hand and leading me upstairs. No one paid any attention to us, but I felt eyes on me. I looked up, my blurry vision caught by a pair of bright blue eyes. I could see the hurt in his eyes, the disappointment. I felt it in my goddamn stomach. He just raised his bottle to me in a mock salute, shaking his head and he looking away, continuing his conversation. I wanted to him to stop me, but he didn't look back. So I let his brother take me upstairs, knowing that Ace wouldn't look at me the same after this. I convinced myself that this was what we both needed. I knew that Ace was too good for me, that's why I squashed whatever feelings I could have had for him with a bottle of Jack, along with the rest. Ace was going to get out of here. He was going to get away from this life. I was stuck. I was never getting out. 

 And I sure as hell wouldn't be the reason that he stayed.