Abducted By Love

Chapter 11: The Decision

I don't know if I can stay with him after I've heard him say that he doesn't want a baby right now.

Especially when he was willing to let me raise his unborn child — alone.

This was a big decision and I didn't know if I could make it...I was nervous to make it.

I know that him saying these things to keep me from leaving could possibly be true, but I wasn't sure if they were.

On one hand I know it would be best for the child to have both parents, but on the other hand I know that he doesn't really want the baby — he just wants me to stay either way I win or lose something.

Giving myself time to decide on what to do in this big decision is the right thing to do. I'm just going to give myself a couple of weeks to decide until then I won't talk to him or have sex with him or look at him...I can't have any distractions.

—

2 Days Later

...

"Alice, are you ever going to respond to what I told you."

I have to think about what I am going to do and so far I am not sure I have an idea, but once I put that idea out there it's a point of no return and I think I am okay with that, with the decision I am going to make.

I am just nervous about letting Alex know, then again he is the father so I have to let him know my decision — it's the right thing to do.

"Yes I am. I'm leaving....you can visit and get the baby when you're 'ready' to be a father, as for me we have nothing further to say to each other."

"So you're leaving with my baby?"

"You said that you didn't want a baby. That you were not ready to be a father, so that means there is no place for me here, don't worry when you are ready to be a father then you can be as involved in our child's life as you want...I wouldn't hinder our child from seeing his dad or getting to know him, I'm not cruel.
I on the other hand think if it's not about our child, then I don't want to talk you."

And with that I left the situation alone...not too long after that I was packed (which was nothing) and moved out.

I made sure that I left absolutely nothing behind and I left. I was a strong individual and I can do this....I can have this baby and I will take care of this baby and I will love it like I have never loved anyone.

——

2 Weeks later

...

I am preparing for the Ultrasound in a week....I had to talk to my Gynecologist immediately when I left Alex so that I could get everything situated...haven't exactly thought about work yet and what I'm going to do on that end, but I am sure I will figure it out...I always do.

...

So I am not sure if I should get my toes painted pink and wish for a girl or do a neutral color, I knew I had to contact my friends soon and let them know I was okay and tell them the terrific/weird news.

I just have to come up with a story of why I haven't been keeping contact with them, why I've missed our lunches and dinner dates and why I haven't been at work and etc.

-

I decided though I want to have a baby girl, I hope I do but if I don't I'm still going to be happy because I brought a life into this world.

This pregnancy will be long but so worth it in the end. I really want to hope that I end up one those moms that never really gain any weight during pregnancy, but I doubt that since I love to eat and now I'm going to be eating for two...

I can't stop laughing in my head, picturing myself eating a whole plate of pancakes and having a bunch of bacon...it's unbelievable....one minute I was with the man I thought I was going to be with forever and the next I am pregnant with his child that he doesn't want.

I fell in love with a jerk, that is so classic of me, like this one time in high school when I had this crush on this jock and I knew he had dated and had sex with pretty much every girl in the school, but I didn't care because I believed that he was so cool and hot and that he was this magnificent person.

But, at the end of the day I got over that fantasy really quick when I said I wouldn't have sex with him and he called me a teasing, worthless little b****.

I swear I grew a set that day, I punched him in the nose and then karate kicked him in the sack....from that day on he could never look me in my eyes or even say anything to me....it was like I scared him.

Same situation, different jock, different outcome.