Don't say that you love me

Part 11

(Ryder pov) I looked down at my phone confused. Why was he calling me? Didn't he understand with the whole storming out thing? I sighed as i picked my phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" i said into it quietly as i waited for his response.

"Ry, hey. We need to talk." He said as i bit down hard on my lip. I was fighting so hard not to cry.

"No we don't." I muttered into the phone as i leaned back onto the couch.

"Yes we do. We need to talk about us." He said as i think about his words. I thought back to our memories as i quickly shook them out of my head.

"There is no us now Harry." I reply coldly as my vision began to blur. I heard him sigh as i ran my hand through my hair.

"I know, i messed up. But can you give me a chance to talk to you about it?" He asks me. Give him a chance? He wanted a chance after he hurt me like that?

"No, i'm with Niall now." I tell him sternly as he pauses for a minute.

"But i still love you Ryder." He tells me softly. My breath catches in my throat as i think about his words. He was just trying to mess with my emotions.

"Don't say that you love me. I told you that a while ago. Anyways you don't Harry." I tell him as i felt a tear drip down my cheek. I fought the urge to completely break down.

"Yes i do Ryder. That's why i want you to give me a chance to talk to you. Please can we just talk about us." He tells me as i shake my head again.

"No, i'm with Niall now. There is a reason why it isn't you anymore." I tell him as i grip the phone tighter in my hand.

"Then tell me you don't love me." He asks as i think about this. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"See? You do love me still. Please can we try to talk it out." He told me as i felt more tears stream down my cheeks. I knew he was right but i didn't want him to be. 

"No, I just want you to leave me and Niall alone. What you did today at lunch wasn't cool." I told him as i heard him laugh lightly. My heart skipped a beat as i thought back to the sound of his laugh.

"I did nothing Ryder. Sure, maybe i was a bit of a tease but it was only because i want you back." He tells me as i begin to cry.

"Well you can't have me. You made it clear that you didn't want me a couple of months ago and i made it clear that it was your only chance." I choked out as he pauses for a minute.

"I messed up Ryder. How was i to know i was about to lose the most important thing in my life?" He asks as i think about his words. I wipe my eyes and stare down at the floor.

"Well the answer is no Harry. Please can we pretend nothing happened?" I ask him. I didn't want to pretend nothing happened. I wanted to relive the days. But another part of me didn't want to. I was so happy with Niall.

"No, i can't do that Ryder. If you don't want to work things out now, fine. But don't think that i am going to give up. I'm going to fight for you." He tells me as i sigh. The tears stung my eyes.

"Please Harry. Please don't" I tell him as i began to cry even harder.

"No Ryder, i have to. I fight for what i believe in and i believe in us. He tells me as i shake my head.

"But that would kill Niall if he ever found out about us Harry. You can't let him find out we used to be together." I tell him as he goes quiet.

"They knew about a mystery girl. They didn't know details. I will fight for you Ryder. I believe that we should be together. He tells me before he hangs up. I remove the phone from my ear and hold it in front of me as i began to cry even harder. Why did he have this effect on me? 

I cupped my face in my hands as i cried even harder. This was too much for me. I was happy with Niall. But i missed Harry. I shook my head as i heard a knock on my door. I wiped my eyes as i walked over to it and opened it. Ali stood there with a smile on her face.

"Hey there babe!" She said with a grin as i felt the tears start to form in my eyes again. She frowned and walked towards me. She closed the door behind her as i began to cry again.

"Al, i..i can't" I choke out as she looks at me confused. She takes a step closer to me as i began to cry even harder.

"Shh! Babe! What's the matter Ry!" She said as she wrapped her arms around me. I hid my face in her shoulder as i cried.

"I can't do this." I chocked out as she ran her hands through my hair.

"Does this have to do with Harry and Niall? I'm taking that seeing Harry for the first time didn't go over too well?" She asks as i shake my head. She sighs as she holds me tighter.

"What happened?" She asks as i pull away to look at her.

"It was weird seeing him. He thought it was funny. I left and he called me. He said he wanted me back. I can't do all of this Al, it's too much!" I say through my tears. She sighs as she takes my hands in hers.

"Babe, you need to get over Harry. You loved him, i know that. You got over him though. Sure it took some time but you did!  He was bad to you. Niall on the other hand, is a sweetheart that really likes you."  She tells me as she wipes my eye. She thought i was over Harry. I looked down at the floor.

"But, i can't." i choke out again as i begin to cry. She shakes her head as she strokes my cheek. 

"Yes you can Ry! I have faith in you! Why do you think that you cant?" She asks me as i look down again. I bite my lip as i sniffle a bit.

"I love Harry still. I can't let him go." I say as her eyes widen.