Don't say that you love me

Part 28

(Ryder pov) I rolled my eyes as he closed his eyes and turned around. He took one step and landed flat on his face.

"Harry!" I shouted as i quickly walked over to him. He began to laugh as he pulled himself into a sitting position. He looked up at me with a grin as i looked down at him.

"Are you alright?" I asked as i held my hand out to help him up. He looked at it suspisiously and tugged me down next to him.

"I'm perfect. Actually, no i'm not." He told me as he frowned and looked down at his hands. He was drunk. Awesome, just what i wanted to deal with right now.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as i tilted my head to the left a bit. He shook his head as he firmly placed each of his hands on my face and pulled me up right.

"Don't do that. You look cute when you do that." He told me as i tried to hide my grin. He had always been funny when he was drunk.

"What's the matter Harry?" I asked as he shook his head.

"I love you that's the matter. Can't you tell Ryder? You flaunt yourself around with Niall all the time and you can't tell that i love you?" He asked me as he looked over at me. I hadn't ever thought about how much it actually hurt him to see me with Niall.

"But you have Kitty." I told him as he shook his head again.

"Kitty was an act Ry! I mean, yeah she was a hot piece of ass, but it was always you. That will never change." He told me as he frowned over at me.

"I thought that you felt the same Ryder." He told me as he shook his head and looked down at his hand. I couldn't help the pain in my chest. He looked so sad and miserable. Yes, i did love him. did. I was with Niall now. 

"Harry.." I started as he looked up at me with a frown. He closed his eyes as he leaned forward and rested his head on my lap. He looked so sad and hurt just like i had after seeing my mom. I couldn't leave him like this.

I ran my hand through his curls as he closed his eyes and gripped a handful of my yoga pants in his hand. It hurt me to see him like this.

"I'm sorry i hurt you." I whispered to him. He didn't move from his position as i continued to run my hand through his hair.

I heard a small whimper escape his lips as a tear dripped down from his cheek. I quickly ran my thumb under his eye to wipe it away.

"Harry don't cry." I told him as he shook his head. It was only because he was drunk....right?

"Come on. You can crash on my couch. I'll make it up for you." i told him as i tried to wiggle out of his grasp. He sighed as he lifted his head and let me stand.

I smiled down at him as i walked into my bedroom. I grabbed two pillows and a blanket off of my bed and made my way back into the living room. Harry was standing there waiting for me patiently.

"You're pretty." He said as i smiled and walked towards the couch. He was all over the place when he's drunk.

I took the side cushions off and put the pillows on the end as Harry watched me. I put the blanket at the bottom and turned towards him.

"All set for you." I told him as he studied the couch. He walked over and sat down. He closed his eyes and tried to reach down for the blanket. I sighed as i grabbed it and wrapped it around him.

"Thanks Ryder." He said with a smile as he looked up at me. His green eyes studied me as i looked down at him.

"Anytime Harry, goodnight." I said as i started to walk away.

"Ryder?" He asked as i turned to look at him.

"Yes?" I asked as he motioned me to come back to him. I sighed as i walked back over to him.

"I really do love you." He told me. His face was so calm and serious that i didn't know what to say.

"Go to sleep Harry." I said as i patted the blanket. He shook his head as he snatched my hand in his.

"No, i'm serious. There was a reason why i never took you out. It was stupid but i was so scared you would leave me." He told me as my eyes widened. What? Why didn't he ever tell me that?

"What was the reason?" I asked him as he rested his head back down on the pillow and shook his head. He yawns as he slowly lets your hand go. Why hadn't he ever told me that? That would have changed everything if he had a serious reason for not bring me out. I always thought that it was just because he was using me for sex and didn't actually care about me.

I sighed as i studied his tired face. There was nothing i could do now, he was completely out. I ran my hand through his hair one last time before i got up and walked to my room.

I curl up in my bed and look up at the dark ceiling. I was so confused. Did Harry actually love me? I mean, i guess i realized that he wanted me to get back together. I was so confused about how i felt. Was there really a reason why he hadn't brought me out?

I shook the thought out of my head as i turned onto my side and closed my eyes tightly.