Lost Blood

Truth?

We arrived at the Psychiatrist's Clinic. It's getting late since the sun has set.

Namjoon and Hoseok lead me to the Psychiatrist's office, their steps are fast, seems like they frequent there.

"Welcome, Namjoon-shi, Hoseok-shi, and Yoongi-shi. I have been expecting you." The doctor welcomes us as we step into her office. They shake hands with each other. She offers me her hand and I accept it formally.

"It's been a while...didn't think we'd come here again, Dr Kath" Namjoon sounded disappointed. "It's okay, how are you feeling, Yoongi-shi?" She asked. I am in no interest to answer her. I am still scared of the truth.

"You seem very reserved now, Yoongi-shi. But I would like to get an idea of your actions today" She asked but both of them answer instead.

"He woke up today, as usual. I thought he was the Yoongi last time you met...but then he screams in the bathroom claiming that he sees Jin..." Hoseok explains.

The 'Yoongi' before me? That sentence sounds very disturbing as if we're different people.

"Thanks, Hoseok...Did you really meet Jin this morning, Yoongi-shi?" She asked kindly. It's her job. I still refuse to say a word.

"Yoongi-shi, I am here not to be in dispute with you, you are afraid because you cannot remember many things, I assure you, your brothers here believe that you'd recover from this but you got to give me a chance to help you, okay" She showed a kind gesture.

"Actually Dr Kath, I and Hoseok have revealed a few things to him regarding our loss of Jin. Maybe, he is just being conservative because of it" Namjoon tells her.

"Yoongi-shi, listen to me. You are not sick or doing anything wrong. Your memories are just clouded. Everyone has issues and you will need help from each other to solve it. This is one of the ways to help you remember...you do want to remember everything, do you?" She said with a smile.

"I do," I answer after a quick thought of what she said.

She smiles

"What happened today? What do you remember?" She asked.

"I saw Jin laying in the bathtub this morning, covered in blood. I took him out caressing his head on my thigh. He was pale and not breathing. Then, the members came and claim that Jin Hyung was not there... He was never there, to begin with, it was just a towel. I was panicked when I saw him in blood while he was just fine that very night" I told him everything.

"You saw him that night as well?" She asked

I continue answering her question "He woke me up saying that my sleep-talking is getting louder and it bothers him."

Namjoon and Hoseok just listen to our conversation silently.

"Did you always know that you talk in your sleep?"

"I do"

She gives a smile at my simple answer and asks more "What was Jin like that night?"

"His pyjamas and hair were all messed up as he always looks like when waking up from sleep and he holds RJ plushie with his right hand."

"Did he say anything to you?" She begins to take notes of all the stories I told her.

"Yes, he reminds me to wash my feet before getting to bed next time and......help him...by dreaming only good dreams," I said but slowly realized how weird are Jin's sentences.

"Did he? Then what happens?" She seems really excited to hear what comes after.

"Then...I get back to sleep but his face keeps popping into my mind as I close my eyes...I complain to him and he answers me from his bed saying that it's not his fault and that... I should be grateful that he comes in my dream." I feel the atmosphere getting tense.

I hear hiccups coming from my right. As I turn to face them, Hoseok stands up, "I'm going for the toilet" He said and leave in a hurry. I look at Namjoon and he's shutting his eyes tight as if taking in something really hard.

"Alright, did you converse with him after that?"

"I did not, I continue my sleep" I look straight into the doctor's eyes.

"You did--"

"But I see him again this evening after the photoshoot session ends. He was offering me his favourite iced vanilla latte but I refuse him as I usually did. He then said 'he should know that I dislike it by now with a disappointed tone...." I look up and see the doctor blinking her eyes a few times as if thinking something difficult.

"That's all there is" I claim that's all that I know.

I look at Namjoon, and he forced a smile when our eyes met.

"That is all, right...Yoongi-shi, do you remember your lifestyle before this?" She asked.

Isn't she messing up the priorities, now? I realized that I only worry and think about Jin this whole day. Not a single thing about my parents or friends.

"My life? Strangely, I remember everything. My mom, my dad, my older brother, and even Holly. My music and my whole life before and currently a BTS member" I said truthfully.

"That's wonderful, I could tell that you remember your life from your story. You keep telling me what you 'usually' do. That's a positive sign of memories recovery. I am glad." She smiles brightly.