Enlighten me/ Lashton ( Hiatus )

chapter nine

(Double update!)

As the two boys walked closer to the gym, the soft sounds of street lights ticking and the comforting feeling of the clouds beginning to clear gave Luke a bit of hope. Besides the harsh tugging feeling against his porcelain wrists and the clear discomfort on Ashton's face having Luke with him, everything else was nice. Upon approaching the familiar gym, Ashton let go and signalled for Luke to follow him inside as he unlocked the door with a rusty looking vintage key and a harsh shove to the door as it seemed jammed. Luke slowly followed Ashton inside the well-known place from the outside but foreign from the inside. The feeling that Luke didn't belong started to cement him to the doorway, making Ashton give him a questioning look and just making it worse for Luke. " I'm sorry." and Luke immediately turned his body around and began to try to shove the door open again but with no such luck. This caused a stream of frustration through Luke's veins as he felt closed in the place he did not belong in. "Luke calm down, you won't be able to open the door, especially with those noodle arms", it would be an understatement to say Luke was now infuriated at the comment, as it reminded him of the words his family would place upon him.

"If you think I'm that weak, then open the door for me. I'm no man Ashton, not like you, I can't be in here knowing I could never belong in a place male-dominated or rather a place where the ideal male hangs out. Please just open the door for me. I'm sorry that I'm running already but this is just overwhelming me"; Luke tried to explain and avoid the upcoming panic attack surfacing.

"Luke, it's just a gym? Some chicks some here too, just stop acting like such a girl and come here already" and with those words, Ashton had pushed Luke over the edge, ' such a girl ' he's not a girl, he's clearly a guy and why is it so bad to be feminine, why must there be a gender-norm? As the questions began flooding his mind, he had enough of the bullshit his "god" was presenting and was slowly beginning to see him as the devil rather than a god or a golden man.

"Ashton, open this door right now. I swear to fucking god; I will jump out of the window if I have to." The words took Ashton by surprise; this wasn't how he wanted the chat to go, and for once in his life, Ashton apologised. "I'm sorry Luke, please just come to the back room, there is just a couch back there, a water tank but no sight of anything that may set you off like this room." Deep down, Luke wanted to just tell the golden man to shut up and open the door but hearing the way Ashton spoke reminded him of the first time they spoke; it was so sweet and comforting. They were worlds apart but this chat was needed dramatically, more than anything as far as Luke knew. This was the only thing on his mind. Fixing whatever could happen with Ashton.

Once the two boys were settled down on the velvet red couch, Luke sports a cup of water and his shoes now off, the pair began discussing everything.

"First of all, I know about Charlie and you, or what you guys had in the past. I know how you treated Charlie due to your denial of being homosexual as it goes against this hegemonic masculinity engraved into your skull, which includes how being homosexual is less manly and any sign of showing your emotions is condoned as weak, but Ashton pushing someone away because they wanted you to love them is all sorts of wrong. However, I know also that it's not all your fault, and I know society is shit, I mean look at me? I'm a man who does makeup for a living, wears so-called makeup, not right now as you can tell" Luke let's out a self-deprecating comment and sharp laugh, which wasn't followed by any laughter from Ashton.

"But what happened with Charlie is none of my business besides the fact, I know he's so much more manly than me, the world wouldn't see him as much of a failure to man-kind like I am, I hate that deep down I know you'll never see me as a man, and it's made me think, is that why you distanced yourself from me? Because you realised being with me made you look less manly, and I'm doing my best to just get this sharp feeling of liking you away but I am so drawn to you it's crazy, but please stop toying with me, that is all I wanted to say."

The room was suddenly very quiet, besides the shallow breathes Luke took and Ashton's tapping against his sneakers resting upon his leg. Frantically, Luke started to drink his cup of water and prepare to get up and leave. "I'm sorry, that was probably a lot, I'm s-" as the words were about to leave his lips, something else replaced words. A pair of rough but plump lips were now pressed against Luke's and the frantic boy melted into the warm feeling of Ashton's lips against his. The kiss was cut short though by Ashton beginning to talk, much to Luke's dismay.

"I like you a lot Luke, it really scares me because I find myself thinking of you and asking my mum to send me more things, just knowing she'll make you deliver them. You are a man; I know it's rich coming from me but while I would never do what you do, as it goes against my personal beliefs of being a man...There are different types of men I believe, though. You are strong in a completely different way of being physically strong. You're strong enough to present yourself in a hateful society by doing what you love, wearing what you like, being openly flamboyant, something people are condoned for but you're strong enough to have the strength to present yourself in the hateful world and bring love to something people hate." The words left Ashton's lips faster than he thought and face-palmed at the sappiness. "Yeah, that was weird of me to say, but Luke felt otherwise and connected their lips again, this time with more urgency as though he was trying to keep Ashton from running away from him. The two were unable to stop kissing and innocently touching one another, keeping the distance but showing clear interest. "I'm really happy you're still here; I mean it's rad that you're still in the school, ya know mate?" Luke cringed at this "I'd rather you not refer to me as 'mate' and yeah I'm happy too Ash."



"What would you prefer me to call you? Enlighten me beautiful."

"Just call me yours, enlighten me into the world, you've created around you, and allow me to get close to you."

The curly haired man nods slowly, giving Luke another peck; "I'll do my best beautiful."