Broken ; 부서진

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+ song; butterfly - LOONA

A light breeze floated into the room, lightly hitting my face. Warmth surrounded me and a familiar smell lingered in the air. I reluctantly opened my eyes and scanned the room. It was familiar - but not mine. I slowly unwrapped the blankets I was surrounded by and sat up. The dress from yesterday had been long forgotten and I was now wearing a long shirt and shorts. 

The sweet smell of strawberries was even stronger now, and I finally knew where I was. 

Jungkook's home.

Memories of last night came flooding back to me, the party, Hoseok's dance, Jungkook's darkened gaze, passionate kissing, and the biggest one of all, what we did last night. 

Did it really happen? I wondered, or is this all a dream? Where is he? What if he didn't like it? Did I just ruin everything we had? Was I not enough? 

Brushing the thoughts away, I attempted to stand up...and failed. 

"So...it did happen..."

-

After cleaning up a little and dressing, there was still not a sign of Jungkook. I finally made a decision to go downstairs.

Sighing as I felt relief flooding through me, I headed towards the kitchen. Suddenly the thoughts struck me. I'm an idiot. What did I just do? Why did I do it? I've screwed up now...really bad...

My brain was telling me I was glad he wasn't around so I didn't have to face him but another part of me was hurt. It felt like he had run away, confirming all my fears. 

I tried to block out my thoughts, making as much noise with the pans as if I was blocking out the sound of them. 

How am I supposed to act if he comes back?  

What am I even doing right now? I thought as I found myself unconsciously cooking rice for breakfast. I jumped and almost let out a shriek as two arms made their way around my waist. I knew by the scent who it was. 

"Good morning," a husky voice spoke in my ear, sending shivers up and down my spine.

"G-Good morning," I stuttered back, feeling the cursed blush spread across my warm cheeks.

Jungkook's chuckle and doe eyes analysing my every movement almost give me a heart attack. This is too much for my heart. Screw being strangers, marry me already. 

Jungkook threw his head back, the sound of his laughter filling the room. I widened my eyes as I realised I had voiced my thoughts out loud. This can't get any worse, I thought, waiting for the ground to open and swallow me.

"Oh wait- I-I meant, wait I didn't m-"

"We'll get there one day, Jeon [Y/N]," Jungkook spoke, the smile still evident  in his voice. 

For the rest of the cooking I remained silent, not trusting myself to think, never mind open my mouth. 

Silence filled the room as we sat across each other, me keeping my eyes on the food so as to avoid any other awkward encounter, despite the fact I could feel Jungkook's gaze on me the entire time.

"Are you okay, [Y/N]?" Jungkook spoke, breaking the silence. 

I finally raised my head to meet his eyes, and I was immediately taken back. The look in his eyes...worry, concern and...love? 

I quickly jumped back to reality realising I hadn't answered his question. "I-I- uh-uhm I'm-"

 To my complete and utter shock, I felt tears flooding down my cheeks. What was I? Was I okay? Was I really fine? I convinced myself the same thing everyday, but was I really what I forced myself to believe? Everything I had been bottling up for the longest time had come crashing down on me after hearing someone finally ask me the question I didn't truly know the answer to. I hadn't got over the death of my parents, Jungkook's departure, my life being turned upside down, leaving behind Busan then returning, and now this.

My tears slowed down as I found myself in Jungkook's arms, comforting me."It's okay, [Y/N]. I'm here."

"You're here now but how do I know you'll always be?" I found myself saying without thought, immediately regretting when seeing the grief and sadness in Jungkook's eyes. 

"I'm sorry-" 

"No, I should be apologising. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most. It hurts knowing you won't be able to forget the biggest mistake I've made in my life. It hurts knowing I'm the reason behind your tears. I'm sorry for what I did last night, I shouldn't have put such a burden on y-"

I put my finger on his lips in order to stop him saying anymore. "I didn't know you felt the same. I thought I was the one in the wrong, that I wasn't enough."

"I love everything about you, how could you even think something like that?" The words slipped out of his mouth endlessly like silk, making my heart skip several beats. 

Here we go again, I thought as a blush painted itself across my cheeks and a smile crept on my lips. "Thankyou," I muttered quietly.

"I'm glad I made you feel better," he smiled before pecking my lips.

bOI DID HE JUST-

"Have you finished eating?" 

"Yes, I have, have you?" he replied, not forgetting about me. 

"Yes, I think I should get going now..." I let out slowly, mentally cursing remembering what hell I would be facing when I returned to the apartment today. 

"You sure?" he pouted, and I tried my best not to give in to his puppy eyes. 

"Yeah, but I'll see you around. You have my number too,," I smiled whilst putting on my shoes. 

"Bye then," I sent him one last smile before opening the door. 

"Love you, bye."

An immediate shock ran through me at Jungkook's words. Love...me?

Turning around, I chose to ignore it and fake a smile instead, trying to erase the image of the broken look in his eyes at my response. 

-

A/N 

yoo hiii everybody >^<

you could say it's been a while lmao 

anyways, i hope you enjoyed this chapter even though I could have honestly done better. (also I apologise bc i think i was on crack while writing half of this you know, author troubles heheh) 

i was also listening to LOONA's 'butterfly' while writing this bc wow that song sLAPS i also linked it at the top so please go listen and stan my girls

also thankyou all so much for 1.4K !! i really can't believe y'all are actually reading this shit lol but i really do appreciate it:)

have an amazing day ily all:)

-sora<3

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