things i say when you sleep

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liked by shawnmendes, karenrayment, mendeslife and 1,920,092 more

samaracavelli   Karen got Baby K the cutest little sets for Christmas. We're down to one week til you're here and I couldn't be more excited to meet you. I dream of you but you're face is blurred. I'm so anxious to see how beautiful you'll be. #39weeks

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// s o n g o f t h e c h a p t e r //

//// things i say when you sleep // n i n a n e s b i t t ////

//// n e w y e a r s d a y // t a y l o r s w i f t ////

Shawn would be returning home tomorrow and while it was something I was looking forward to, I, in a way, wasn't looking forward to it at all. 

We hadn't talked since the day all of those pictures surfaced. The media had a ball with that let me tell you. They threw a pity party for me, "poor single mother" Samara while her unloyal baby daddy was out with a new fling. I'm sure the media would love if Shawn and I dated, but it just wasn't in the cards for us.

To be honest, with everything happening, I don't think it ever was in the cards and my stupid superstition about the universe having it's ways was just slowly sounding more and more dumb. 

What was I even supposed to say to Shawn when I saw him? 

None of it mattered right now. I was just happy that I made it this far along without giving birth and that if I could just make it 12 more hours, Shawn would be here when Kora comes. 

I spent the entire day cleaning the apartment, even though it was spotless just because I was stressing myself out about Shawn coming home. Christmas was in a few days and my parents would be coming up to see Imogen and I. Plus, they'd just stay until Kora decided to come since the due date was so close. 

Once I was finished cleaning the apartment for the third time, I decided to go out and do some last minute Christmas shopping. Kora had finally dropped which meant it was a lot easier for me to breathe now, but that didn't stop the amount of pressure I was feeling on my pelvis. If it wasn't one thing, it was the other, am I right?

I honestly had no idea what to get anyone. I pretty much winged it with everything I was buying, but things I was buying started to come together in my head and making sense. I think by the end, everyone would like what they were receiving. 

I had always been awful at gift giving, but I think I was getting better this year. 

I was up pretty late wrapping gifts, lost in my thoughts; daydreaming, if you will. By the time I finished wrapping and was laying in bed talking to Kora, I was stuck thinking about what she'd look like.

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