Chapter 4 ~ Losing His Persona

5.7K 200 134
                                    

Scribbling words down as fast as he could, Kokichi tried to remember everything he saw. Kaito punching him, Shuichi pushing him into the closet, being pulled behind the school; everything was written down. When he first opened this notebook, he had originally been plotting another plan. But once he actually began to write, he found himself documenting these strange memories. The more he wrote, the more weird they sounded. Why did he feel so weak in them? And what was with the way he saw the world? He didn't like this, wishing he could just forget it all.

A knock at the door snapped him out of his thoughts. Despite wanting to be alone, it didn't stop him from getting up and opening the door. Pain shot through out his legs but he attempted to ignore it, giving just a slight wince. Shuichi stood on the other side with a plate of rice and a bottle of panta. If Kokcihi hadn't eaten both the sandwiches hours ago, he would've turned away. But his growling stomach argued with him, winning the fight as Kokichi stepped out of the doorway to let Shuichi in.

Shuichi set the items on the bed before turning to stare up and down at Kokichi. Because Kokichi's normal outfit was a pain to put on, they just put him in his pajamas. It consisted of a t-shirt and some shorts, exposing Kokihi bandaged legs and arms.

The glass had been a pain to get out, there being so much of it. Kokichi would look like he got in a fight with a cat and lost if he wasn't wearing those. Or perhaps worse. And the bandages didn't just end there. They were all over his body, hidden by his clothes. Honestly, it was over done in the time of panic. But it wasn't like they wouldn't be changed later when Kokichi wasn't bleeding out. Still, this new look seemed sad, compared to Kokichi's usual appearance. His confidence had clearly been lost, replaced by a tired, defeated expression.

Shuichi shook his head before speaking, "I thought you'd probably need more food by now." His voice was quiet, pity clear all on his face.

"I would've got food myself if I was hungry," Kokichi said, knowing what Shuichi might be thinking. "I don't need your help." Usually he would've said Shuichi's pet name and made a joke about Shuichi caring about him. But he wasn't in the mood. And he couldn't allow Shuichi to think he needed help. That he was weak.

Shuichi simply sighed, sitting on the bed. He had a troubled expression. "Kaito said you were yelling at him."

"Yeah? We never get along." His voice trailed off a bit, not wanting to discuss this. He faked a yawn, ready to put on a persona to get Shuichi out of here. "You know, you woke me from my nap. How rude!" There was a hint of a pout on his face.

"You weren't sleeping." Shuichi picked up the notebook Kokichi had left on the bed. "You were writing." He began to scan the pages before Kokichi snatched it away.

"It's not nice to snoop!" Kokichi gave a small laugh, pretending Shuichi hadn't almost just found out what was going on with him. He needed to make it not seem like a big deal.

Shuichi raised an eyebrow. "Another plan, I assume?"

Kokichi froze, realizing he had been right about that. "Aw! Did Saihara-chan ruin my surprise?" He started to smirk, knowing exactly how he was going to get Shuichi to leave. "Guess I'll have to ruin something for you!"

He pinned Shuichi down on the bed, giving a wide grin with mischievous eyes. Shuichi stared in shock, his mind taking a second to understand the situation. Once it did, his eyes widen, shaking his head repeatedly.

"How about I ruin-"

Before Kokichi could finish that sentence, Shuichi reversed the roles, flipping Kokichi to being on his back with Shuichi on top. Kokichi didn't expect this to happen. All he wanted was for Shuichi to flee the room, most likely never coming again. But now he was on the bottom, struggling to get out of Shuichi's grip, refusing to look up at Shuichi's expression. He is too scared to look. For a second, he attempted to think of some joke to make, but could only find himself back at that memory, pushed into the closet. He paled, unable to stop his next words.

"What are you going to do to m-me?"

It was the question he had wanted to ask in the flashback. Because what would have that Shuichi done if someone hadn't shown up? Kokichi didn't want to know. But it looked like he was about to find out. His heartbeat sped up, feeling consumed by fear.

Shuichi noticed his fear, realizing what it looked like he was doing. But he didn't move yet, giving an angry expression.

"Nothing," he said coldly. "But it isn't as fun when someone does this to you, is it?"

Kokichi shook his head. "I-I'm sorry. Just.. please... no more..." It was like he had no control over what he was saying. All he saw was a jumble of memories, all involving Shuichi doing something to him. He couldn't handle them, beginning to break down.

Staying like that for a couple more seconds, Shuichi stared at Kokichi's frightened expression, seeing tears start to form. His anger was replaced with concern as he slowly moved off. Kokichi knew he'd messed up. What Shuichi was now thinking of him. But he didn't care. All he did was be still, closing his eyes as to not have to see Shuichi's pity. Shuichi began to reach a hand out to him but stopped, noticing Kokichi shaking.

"I didn't know," Shuichi mumbled. "I'm sorry."

Kokichi continued to be still, now sniffling.

"Hey... who did this to you?" His voice was drowned in worry and regret as he reached out to Kokichi, trying to pull him into a hug.

Words refused to form for Kokichi, preventing him from telling Shuichi. Not that he could, anyways. He still wasn't sure what it was he was seeing. And there was no way Shuichi would believe him. He was going to try pushing his emotions off as a lie, when he felt Shuichi pull him close.

Too close.

This wasn't okay, sending Kokichi back to his panic state of mind as he pushed Shuichi away. His face was red with anger as tears started going down his cheeks.

"Don't touch me," he yelled, scooting away from Shuichi.

Shuichi gave a shocked expression, but understood why Kokichi was acting like this. Wanting to prevent making things worse, he stood up and quietly left, leaving Kokichi with a new memory.

---

🌿I can't be trusted to update when I'm on breaks from school because I become lazy. Oh well. It is out now.🌿

Hollow Lies (Danganronpa)Where stories live. Discover now