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TRIGGER WARNING; This chapter will mention depression and suicide. • • • • •
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A week into winter break, my father called me from his office as I was reading a book that Chance had gotten me for an early Christmas present. I folded the corner of the page before racing out to his office and raised my eyebrow at him. "Yes?" I asked leaning on the door frame. He looked up at me and smiled sweetly.
"How you feeling?" I shrugged before walking into the office more, sitting on the chair closest to the door, and the farthest away from the desk. I didn't even really want to be near it. I still haven't forgotten about what happened a month ago on that desk. I frowned as I remembered, trying so hard to forget again.
"What's the frown for?" my father asked. I raised my eyebrow before looking at him. I shook my head and shrugged.
"Nothing. Just... thinking about something I wish I could forget it all." I admitted with a cringe. Dad cleared his throat as if he knew exactly what I was talking about and nodded.
"Sorry about that again," he said, his face contorted into a look of discomfort. I shook my head.
"What you need?" I asked, trying to get him to get to the point and changing the already awkward subject. He nodded, as if remembering he had called me in here.
"I want you to hang out with Bianca." I rolled my eyes. "Hear me out." I looked back at my father. "I really, really like her, Har."
"You told me this before, but that doesn't mean I like her."
"What makes you not like her?" he asked. I sighed and shrugged.
"I don't know. Stuff."
"You have no reason to not like her. She's amazing." I rolled my eyes. "Look, she's not here to replace your mom, because no one is ever going to replace her. I need someone to just fill in that void that I have ever since your mom had to go."
"That sounds a lot like you're replacing her." My father groaned.
"Your mother will always be your mother and she'll always be my first love but, she's gone and you can't tell me I should just sulk around for the rest of my life." I looked away and pursed my lips together. "She left us. Not the other way around."
"You're making it seem like she died on purpose."
"Well, she killed herself." I couldn't hold back the choked sob that came out my mouth at my father's words. I stood up quickly. "Shit, I didn't mean it like that, Harmoni."
"She was depressed and you weren't helping. She was left home with me alone all the time so you could work. And when she died, you didn't even raise me, grandma did and when grandma died, you had no other means to raise me so you were forced. You were a poor excuse for a husband and I don't blame mom for doing what she did."
"Harmoni!" he shouted.
"I hate you." I spat before running out his office, quickly running down the stairs, trying to grab my things. I could hear my father running after me, trying to get me to talk to him. But I wasn't for it. I quickly slipped on my shoes, grabbed my keys and coat and ran out the door to my car.
I had gotten in and started the car just as my father peeked his head out the door and called my name. I looked up at him, pulling on my seatbelt as I pulled out of the parking pad and then sped away from the house, tears streaming down my face quickly.
I made it to my destination shortly after I started driving. I pulled into the parking lot then got out and rushed into the cafe. I was welcomed immediately by the smell of fresh cinnamon buns. I let out a sigh of contempt before walking over to the counter where I saw Chance standing behind the counter with a smile on his face.
"Good evening there, partner." he said with a wink. "What can I get you today?" he asked.
"A cookies and creme frappe." I spoke in a whisper as I pulled a ten dollar bill out of my pocket. When I held it out to him he frowned.
"You got in an argument with pops?" He asked, knowing that whenever I didn't want my father to know where I was. As he could check my cards to know exactly where I was.
I nodded, as answering his question, not trusting my voice to speak as I remembered why I was angry at him. "I go on break in like ten minutes, we'll talk then?" he asked. I nodded slowly, wiping my face.
After a couple of minutes, he handed me my frappe along with a banana nut muffin and then I walked over to the table I always sit at and chilled there until he went on break. I decided that as I waited, I would scroll through my social media pages.
I was just about to open up my Twitter when I heard the chair across from me get pulled out from the table. I looked up expecting to see Chance but saw one person I wasn't excited to see but he wasn't the first person on my shit list right now.
"Can we talk?" He asked, shifting in his seat. I looked over at Chance before looking back at him.
"I mean, we're already talking." I spoke back smartly.
