Julie Bane

Chapter One

[Me and My Broken Heart- Rixton]

"Maybe you'll remember that next time you decide to steal from me." I growl at the man I'm pinning to the wall. I whip out my handgun, put it to his head, flip the safety off and BANG! I put the gun back in the inside of my black leather jackets pocket and walk out of the alley.

I keep walking until I come to the gated snow covered field with stones sticking out of the ground. I swing open the squeaky fence and start walking in but stop once I realize I forgot the flowers.

I walk back out and to the flower shop right next to it that says opened on the door just like it always says, no matter what time it is, even if it's one in the morning like it is right now it's still opened. Sometimes I wonder if it's always opened just so I can come by and get flowers, because this place hasn't been opened 24/7 all the time in the past, just ever since I started visiting her.

I walk past all the pretty colorful flowers and stop when I get to the counter where mr Lewi is already standing with the same bouquet of flowers I ask for every time I come here. Red gladiolus flowers, with red roses on the bottom of them. I guess people know exactly what you're going to get if you go there every single night and ask for the same thing.

"It's awfully late right now. I was starting to think you weren't going to come by." Mr Lewis says, finishing tying the red ribbon around the stems.

I shake my head, "No, I'll never stop coming by to visit her." I say and he nods.

"Would you like some hot cocoa? It's already ready. You can take it out there with you to keep you warm."

"No thanks."

"Are you sure? Why don't you? I don't want you freezing to death." I think for a few seconds.

"Yeah, maybe I'll come back after if I change my mind." I shrug and he nods. He hands me the bouquet across the counter, along with a few tissues. "Thanks." I say, digging my hand in my pocket for a one dollar bill. Once I get it I hand it to him but he just stares at it.

"Carlos, what have I told you every night when you tried to pay me?" He asks.

"Come on, just this once." I say.

"No, you don't need to pay me. I know what you've been through so I'm not making you or letting you pay me." He shakes his head. I sigh and put the dollar back in my pocket. "Have a nice night Carlos." He calls out as I open the door.

"You too." I say back before walking out and back to the gate.

I walk through the snow until I come to the familiar grave stone with the name Sadie Bane engraved into it. I can't believe I went to her funeral. Okay, Adam dragged me but still. I forced myself to watch as they put her half burnt body into the hole I'm standing next to right now, of course it's covered with dirt and grass, and roses I payed extra for for the funeral service to patch into the grass. Her body was burnt up pretty badly but the people who fix the bodies fixed her up pretty well. Surprisingly the only part of her that wasn't burnt was her face. I think god made that happen.

Is there a god? If I'm being honest I hope not because that would mean Sadie would be burning in hell right now, and I would go to hell when I die too. But a small part of me hopes there is a god so I know I wasn't talking to no one for the past year. And if there is a god I hope he did what I begged him to do, to go easy on Sadie. Because she was just broken, her dad raised her to be so cruel, she never asked for it.

"Hi Sadie." I whisper and watch my breath in the frigid air. "Did you think I wasn't gonna come like Mr Lewi thought? I wouldn't do that. I'll never stop visiting you. Not even when I'm fifty. Sorry I'm so late though, gang business. You know what it's like, you were there your whole life." I let out a shaky breath.

"I got you flowers, just like always." I lay them down in front of the gravestone.

"If you were wondering Adams doing really well. He missies you, of course. He got a new girlfriend, they're a pretty cute couple. Riding around the city on motorcycles and robbing stores." I smile. "Just like we did." I whisper. "And your dad, oh your dad. God he misses you. I barely ever see him, and when I do he's... he's really... Sadie your dad's an alcoholic. I'm sorry. Adam and I have tried to help him stop but, ever since your funeral he hasn't been able to stop." My eyes start watering.

"You know, it's funny how just one person leaving can affect so many people in so many awful ways." I take out a tissue an blow my nose with it.

"Sadie I think I'm the one who misses you most of all. I don't know if I can go any further in life without you. It's so hard. I guess this is how you felt when your mom left you. I'm so sorry. It feels so awful. It feels like someone shot you in the heart but you're forced to keep living, but with the bullet still in your heart and you can't ever get it out or heal it so no matter what you do you feel that awful, terrible pain in your heart. That's the worst feeling in the world. If I had to chose between feeling mental or physical pain, I would pick physical. Because then you don't feel like giving up on everything and like there's no hope and like you should just quit every single day." Tears leak down my face.

"Gosh it's cold out here." I shiver as a gust of wind blows past me. "I really don't want to leave you but it's almost two in the morning and it's like five degrees out here. And I really don't want to get frost bite. So I'm gonna head home now, okay?" I wait for a response but nothing comes. "I really hope you have a ghost that follows me everywhere. If you do give me a sign so I know you're still with me." A chilly breeze blows past me again but stronger than the one a few minutes ago. "Was that a sign?" I slightly smile. Another breeze hits me. "I'll take that as a yes." I chuckle.

I kneel down beside the tombstone.

"I want to kiss you but I don't know where your lips are." I say awkwardly. "I guess I'll just do this." I shrug and kiss the palm of my hand and place my hand on the top of the stone. I stand back up and look at it and feel tears making there way back into my eyes. "I miss you so much babe. I have to go now okay. I'll come visit you tomorrow night. I'll try not to be late this time." I take a step back. "I love you Sadie." I smile and turn and walk away.

I shut the gate and start walking down the empty streets in the direction of my house.

Oh gosh I cried the whole time while I wrote this chapter. He's been visiting her grave every night since she died! And he has to get the same flowers every single time! I can't stop crying!

Anyway guys, I hope you enjoyed that chapter and thanks for reading. I gotta go blow my nose.