Pleasure ~ Jenlisa

Chapter 11

Lisa was flying low under the radar. The only contact she seemed to be making with the outside world was the texts she sends to my phone. Lisa was making it hard to stick to my decision to end our brief relationship before it got out of control.

There was still some much I wished I knew about her, however, I knew my fascination with her wasn't healthy. Lisa came with baggage that I couldn't carry. The fame. The darkness. The control issues. It was too much, too fast. Lisa consumed me when she was near me and occupied my mind when she wasn't. Ending it was the only option.

So why couldn't I let her go?

But this morning I had bigger things on my mind. At least, I was trying to keep the fact that I was starting my new job at the record label today and I must make it my top priority. In actuality, the fact was that I was falling miserably.

"You should block." Chaeyoung suggested as she made me a cup of tea.

"She has access to SIS."I reminded her. "I'm not sure it will matter if I block her. " I didn't add that I'd already tried and couldn't bring myself to do it.

"I don't like seeing you this way. Are you this 'girlfriend of hers' is really something to get so miffed over?." Chaeyoung's heart was in the right place, because I hadn't been able to tell her the truth. That the real reason that I'd walked away from Lisa had nothing to do with the photos of her with Nancy McDonie.

How could I explain to her that Lisa scared me? She knew I attracted the wrong people in the past. She would completely understand my compulsion to run if she knew what Lisa wanted, and maybe that's why I couldn't bring myself to do it. Chaeyoung would never look at Lisa the same way again. What I couldn't figure it out is why I cared so much. She wanted to dominate me. She claimed only in the bedroom. She claimed it would be safe. But was that a risk I was capable of taking?

"I don't know." I said, not able to lie to her. At least, not entirely. "Maybe I'm just hurt, but I think it's better if we get some distance."

As if on cue, my phone buzzed with an incoming text. I snatched it up before she could see what it said. Lisa's texts ranged from reasonable to wildly sexual, although I expected the overly dirty ones came from a night spent drinking too much. She'd managed to keep them respectful for the most part, which made it even harder not to respond.

"Whatever Lisa did, she isn't trying to hide that she's thinking about you." Chaeyoung flipped her hair over her shoulder and shot me a meaningful look.

"She's thinking about sex." I corrected her.

"Lisa doesn't bother thinking at all, let alone texting you repeatedly."

I turned my attention to my tea, hoping it would steady the agitated beat of my nerves. "I can't worry about this. I start work today."

"And you look fabulous." Chaeyoung said, switching topics on my cue. (just imagine the picture above was her outfit, ehee)

"Do you think this outfit is okay?" I convinced this outfit was work appropriate.

"So obsessing." Chaeyoung shook her head. "You look great and they're damn lucky to have you. You don't need that job, Unnie."

"That doesn't mean I can do whatever I want." I argued.

"No, but it does mean you don't have to worry about what they think of you or at least what they think of your clothes."

Was this how it was always going to be? Little things reminding me of Lisa. Little things driving me crazy. All the what-if's and might-have-been chipping away my sanity.