Pleasure ~ Jenlisa

Chapter 23

Jennie Pov

Lisa tucked her jacket around me as I did the best I could to get my blouse to close. There was no use. I looked like I'd endured a good fuck, and with the heat still in my cheeks, I didn't care who knew. I was drunk on her mere presence. That would be obvious to anyone who saw us, but it was more than our physical encounter that lingered in my heated blood.

This weekend had proven over and over again that the connection between us was real.

I was inlove with her.

I no longer had any doubt of that, but I couldn't be certain that feeling was reciprocated. I heard it in the way Lisa whispered those three words that night and felt it in the way she touched me in the soft caress before she fucked me blind. I replayed the afternoon tryst in my head as we rode back to the estate, for once content with the silence that had followed our previous lovemaking. Was it lovemaking though? I searched my memories for more hints, more clues that I wasn't alone in this state. Surely the fact that Lisa hadn't pumped me and dumped me like the other girls she'd been photographed with in the papers was proof. She'd even brought me here, amongst her family and friends, which had to mean something. Of course, everyone here hated me, so maybe that wasn't reassuring at all.

By the time we rode into the stable, I felt half-crazy. How was I supposed to figure out a women who couldn't or wouldn't open up to me anywhere but in the bedroom, or in today's case, against a tree? We had a connection. For now I had to trust her with more than a riding crop. I had to trust her with my heart.

But as the memory of our wild afternoon stole into my mind, I was distracted from my more analytic musings.

I was in such a haze that I barely registered dismounting. The appearance of a stable hand finally snapped me out of it, and I tugged Lisa's jacket tighter. Her hand stayed on my back, reassuring me, even as my cheeks burned as the stable hand gawked at my appearance. The man quickly recovered, averting his eyes and offering a gruff good evening to us both.

Lisa held my hand as she guided me the veranda nearest my guest bedroom. I tried not to obsess over the small gesture, even though I was sure I would later. For now, I delighted to the strong, firm feel of her fingers woven with mine. Then it was gone. She held a finger to her lips and peeked inside, gesturing after a moment that it was safe for me to enter. But she caught me in the doorway, pressing me against the frame and kissing me roughly, her tongue sliding forcefully into my mouth. I was consumed, melting eagerly against her. I moved my hand under Lisa's shirt tracing the long scar that was across her stomach.

"No, Jennie." She warned.

I blinked against the tears welling in my eyes at the harsh rebuke. Two steps forward. Three steps back. I had my answer: we weren't moving forward. How much could we ever possibly do so when she hid so much from me? Forcing myself to look away in attempt to hide the pain twisting through me, I gave her a rueful smile. "I'll see you at dinner."

"Jennie... Don't." She refused to let go of my wrist, and when I pulled against her hold, her grip tightened.

"Not here. Not in this place. I can't explain it to you."

"Try." I snapped, my frustration showing.

"I can't." Her eyes had grown hard, but for a moment, they smoldered to life as she met my gaze. "It's not you, Jen."

"It never is." I was tired of the constant back and forth when all I wanted was to know where I stood with her. "I thought after this afternoon-"

"You need to change for dinner, love." Lisa stopped me. The abrupt change of subject stung as much as her dismissal of me. I couldn't help thinking this was about more than wanting me to be representable to her family and friends. How could I ever be what Lisa needed? No wonder they all judged me. We all knew what I lacked - not only the pedigree, but the calculated indifference that could be flipped on like a switch.