A few beats go by without me responding, the shock factor has yet to wear off.
"You what?" I choke out unable to believe what I just heard him say. I expected for him to have some type of amused look on his face that would lead me to think that he may be joking. His expression is stoic and serious unlike how it's been all night.
"I said I love you Jayde." His words flow out of his mouth like honey, each word is articulated to its greatest ability.
"No-no you don't. You can't." I try to tell myself to believe what I'm hearing just isn't true, I want to believe it, I truly do but I feel as if it's too good to be true, given our previous history and even present as well. He nods and angles a look down at me.
"Yes I can and I do Jayde, why is it so hard to believe. You're my first love, my first heartbreak, the mother of our beautiful children. You're my first everything, it's impossible for me not to love you and still have feelings." I rise from his body and sit back with my feet crossed under my body.
"You're forgetting one key factor that's still in your life, you still have a girlfriend, Harry. You can't keep doing this to me or to her. Telling me you love me, flirting with me and getting all touchy with me yet calling and talking to her like you're still madly in love with her. It's not fair." He shrugs.
"What can I say I have kinks to work out within myself. I'm not perfect Jayde and I'm not going to act like I am either. I just happen to have feelings for two different women at the same time. That's not necessarily uncommon either, you've known I've been like this for a while." I laugh, not at the fact that what he said is humerus but the fact that a grown ass man is sitting here in front of me behaving like a child.
I rip the sheets from beneath the mattress and wrap them around my exposed body. "What're you doing?" He's on his feet within seconds and quickly moves his feet so he is by my side.
"I'm saving myself from another mistake. You're pathetic Harry, damn it." I curse to myself. A sad smile spreads across my face and I lower my eyes to the floor. "All these years, the business, the responsibility and even children and you still act as if you're that sixteen year old little boy. Don't you think it's time to grow up? Start to behave like a fucking grown ass man." His eyes widen and he takes a few steps away.
"Let me put it in simple terms for you. How would you feel if a boy treated Aaliyah like this? You'd want to chop his balls off and feed it to him, correct?" He slowly nods and breaks eye contact.
"Girls always go after guys who are just like their fathers. You're the figure who she looks up to on how to be treated by a man, she'll look at how you treat me and think that's how she needs to be treated. Is that something you want for your daughter. For a man to string her along, play with her heart and fuck her over?" He swallows hard and shakes his head no, he's silent. "As long as your actions stay the same it'll be engraved in her head. And I wish I could try and tell her differently but that part in her mind will always be dominated by you, her father."
I grab my discarded clothes from the floor and move towards the door. "As long as it doesn't involve the kids or work, these meeting of ours don't need to occur any longer."
"Jayde, come here." My hand grips the door handle and I lean my forehead against the frame. "You know me better than anyone else walking this planet, whether you realize it or not. You know I'm not trying to string you along or paint you as some side piece-"
"Then what the hell are you trying to do Harry? You haven't made any moves or voiced to me that you don't want to be with her anyone, matter of fact you just voiced to me that you love her. Everyone knows you're together so where does that leave me? You want me but no one can know that. I refuse to go down this path with you again, Harry." He runs a frustrated hand through his disheveled curls and takes a few steps towards the door.
