30. The Game

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August 1st, 1993

Emoni,

"You ready?" Birdie spoke as he stuck his head in the doorway.

"Almost," I assured him.

"Hurry up, we gotta go." He said before he was out of the room again.

I rolled my eyes, buttoning up my pants. I'll be ready whenever I'm fucking ready, dickhead.

Yeah I know, Birdie's on edge today. That's because today is the day that he's been doing all of this for. The late nights, the phone calls, the drill sergeant act, the asshole moments, the abandoned days and nights.

Were all, for this day...

The game.

Birdie bet a lot of money on his team today so it definitely would mean everything for them to win right now. I have to come because the police have been snooping around here again recently and Birdie doesn't want them around me so yeah, I'm forced to go to this stupid game.

It's my fault though, that I have to go if I would have moved out sooner none of this would be happening right now. I was supposed to have the house sooner but I kind of spent some because I was stressing out.

But it doesn't matter, I'm still gonna be moving out soon and I'm still happy about that.

You're probably wondering why I'm so pissed off right now, it's because of him and his shitty ass mouth. We've been arguing nonstop for almost two weeks now because all he's been worried about is this stupid fucking basketball game.

This morning's been really quiet, since we've been arguing day in and day out, since last week so we haven't said anything to each other. That was the first thing he has said to me today, 'you ready?') It's cool though I don't expect anything more since our last argument was kind of hectic.

Because of him of course, making sure to say all types of fucked up things, I mean I said some things too but I would never try to deliberately hurt him. I mean I don't know if that's what he was trying to do intentionally but it damn sure felt like it.

Such an asshole.

I'm not surprised though. It's game week. I should have known that he was gonna get like this when he started marking down days to when the game was. At that moment I should have guessed that, that, had meant he was gonna start becoming more distant again.

And I know I knew but it still hurts, ya know? For him to treat me like the second rate just because he's bet on his precious basketball team again. I don't know why I let it get to me so much, I know that it's gonna be times when he's like this, but that just makes it hurt even more, knowing that once again this nightmare is gonna start.

I have no say so when either, it just starts whenever he bets on something or whenever he's 'working' and I'm quite sick of it, especially our argument the other day. So I've been frustrated all morning, we haven't fucked in over a week and three days, and he's been out doing whatever the hell he wants while I stay up by myself waiting for him to come home, worried about his well-being.

I mean you could at least give me a call, saying 'hey I can't make it home tonight, so don't wait up' anything would have been nice.

But of course, Birdie is just thinking about Birdie. I don't even know why I'm so angry about this, this is a common thing, whenever money gets involved with him, he's on shit, and he doesn't care about shit, except his dirty money.

But I'll try to tough it out since I should have the money to move next week.

Cause that's our problem, we see each other way too damn much, I know your probably wondering, 'how can you see him and not see him too much at the same time?' That's because I'm dating Birdie, it's half and half with him.

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