37. Lost Soul

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September 5th, 1993
Couple days later...

Emoni,

"Thank you so much," I said to the cab driver while getting out the car.

"Don't mention it mam, have a nice day." He said.

I smiled. "You too." I closed the door behind me, starting on my walk home along the sidewalk.

I watched my surroundings, my legs moving slowly under me. I saw couples walking hand in hand, kids walking with their mother's and fathers. Today just really seemed like a peaceful day, and I was once happy to live in Harlem New York.

Seeing all of these people happy together made me think of Birdie and I. I wonder if me and him ever had kids who would they be like? Me or him? I hope that we last that long, to where we're on the same page and can have kids together. That would be beautiful.

I got out of my head when I fully approached my house. My mailbox was full and a box sat in front of my door. I raised a brow walking up the steps of my house. "Who is this from?" I emptied the mailbox before kneeling down.

My eyes scanned the box until I saw the name. It had Birdie's address on it so I knew it was from him. A smile stretched across my face as I stood back up to my feet, I wonder what he sent me. My smile disappeared when my eyes shifted to the mail, the letter on top showed that it was from, Beverly Hills, Ca. I blinked away tears, my left hand was shaking when I reached in my pocket for my house key.

After three tries I was able to push open the door. I slid the envelopes across the floor, before reaching down to use all my strength to pick up the box, carrying it inside the house. My heel shut the door behind me, while I dropped the box down on the ground. Loneliness took over my body as I took a seat on the couch slowly.

I haven't seen my father in I don't know how long now. They never call, visit, or even send me a thing and now I finally get an envelope from Beverly Hills. I really don't know how to feel about this right now, I just hope he's not apologizing to me through a fucking letter right now.

I got myself together, after completing this whole entire thing. I reached over on the floor swiping up the single envelope bringing it to my shaky lap. My anxiousness forced me to rip open the letter, I was trying my hardest not to just tear it into shreds. I pulled out the paper in the envelope, my eyes got big in shock. It was a check for 15,000. A sharp edge of a regular piece of paper hung out the envelope as well.

I pulled it out slowly, confusion growing within me. My eyes were locked on the paper intently as my white nails unfolded it. It was a letter from my parents.

Hey baby, it's your father. Marcus Collins & mother Monica Ria Collins. We love and miss you dearly, we hope that all is well in Harlem New York. We also hope that you're not planning on staying in that trash city and hope that you find your way back home on your own. Oh and also good news! I (mom) found a new modeling agency so no more lagging behind your father for me.

I balled the paper in my fist tightly. I couldn't bring myself to read any more of it, even though it was a page full more. I heard enough, basically, their lives have been too good to give their only daughter a call to see how she's doing in Harlem New York, a place they previously said was for the dogs, so why would you send me here and never call or answer my calls.

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